Category: Productivity

Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Productivity, Trauma

From Floundering to Flourishing: An exercise in patient exploration

heather

“The spirit of the times is one of joyless urgency.”  Marilynne Robinson
 
Well, that’s a cheerful quote to open up my Sunday Letter, isn’t it?!  But I had to share it because it perfectly encapsulates how I was feeling for the past few months.  I think it’s how many of us feel quite often, actually – “I must get everything done as quickly as possible so that I can have time to vegetate in front of the TV whilst I contemplate all the things I need to get done tomorrow, but which I know I won’t have time to do!”
 
But lately I’ve been feeling different.
 
I’ve been feeling joy. 
 
I’ve been feeling presence.
 
I’ve been feeling appreciation and excitement about life.
 
And what shifted?
 
The damndest thing is, I don’t know for sure!
 
In an attempt to get out of this funk/depression I have been trying a lot of things – meditating more regularly, chiropractic care, functional medicine care, the physiological sigh for 5 minutes every night, more long walks outside in the morning, an Aztec healing session, shifting my center of perception from my head to my heart, spending more time with my brother and my niece while they stayed at my house for a couple of weeks, taking a break from alcohol for a few weeks, making a huge chart in my office that very clearly lays out my personal and professional goals for August (replete with checkboxes and spaces to fill in my success metrics), trying some NEW things (new restaurants, new activities), pushing myself to do stuff that’s uncomfortable, etc.  Since I was trying a bunch of things simultaneously, I don’t know what the catalyst was.  Or maybe all the things together formed the magic potion!
 
And I’m feeling better.  I really noticed this yesterday as Tim, Huehue, and I were canoeing down the Maquoketa River.  This is an almost annual tradition, so I’ve floated that river probably 20-30 times in my life.  But yesterday, I was THERE for it.  I noticed the serenity of the water, the wispy white clouds that looked like elegant apostrophes, the light glinting on the water, the dunes of sand cresting and falling under surface of the river, the pleasure of spending time with two of my favorite beings.




It was beautiful. I was content.  I was present and accounted for.  I felt happy. I felt like something had shifted.  And then I got anxious because I realized that if something shifted up, it means that it could shift back down again.  But then I realized that there is no point in worrying about the if/when, when I could just be present with the feeling of being content.  So I let that thought go.
 
In Somatic Experiencing, they teach that trauma needs to be processed in a titrated fashion.  You can’t dive right into the trauma vortex and try to “fix it.”  You explore the edges, monitor the state of your nervous system, and when you get too activated, you pendulate back to a safe and steady place, and when you’re ready, you go back in for a little more.  You erase the edges and eventually work towards the center, gently unwinding those layers slowly. It takes time.  A lot of time. Like 46 years of time.
 
And I think that’s what I’m doing.  In my process of healing, I’m disintegrating layers of numbness and constriction that have covered over my joy, and now it’s starting to shine through.  I am healing.
 
I’m writing all this because while I was in the middle of my funk, it felt like that was just me – just who I was.  But now that I am passing through, I see that it was a phase, a stage – not a destination.  So if you are feeling that “joyless sense of urgency,” there is hope!  Trying new things, allowing yourself to stretch outside of your comfort zone, and getting help from professionals (and maybe you have to try a few different ones to find one who resonates), can kick-start that upward spiral.
 
In that vein, I am offering a free 60-minute Zoom workshop on 8/23 at 5PM  Central Time entitled “Simple Tools to Change Your Life.”  We’ll play with a few practices that can have a big impact on how you feel in your body and mind, such a meditation, breathwork, and posture.  And more importantly, we’ll try to close that gap between “knowing” and “doing” by doing a brief overview of habit change science – so you will be able to take away one small action step that can help bring more health, joy, and presence back into your life.
 
I am teaching a version of this presentation to a live audience of about 100 people in October, so, if you do attend the presentation I would be extremely grateful if you would provide feedback in the form of a 5 question survey, which I will send out to all attendees after the presentation.  Please help me NAIL this presentation in October!
 
Here is the link to register for the workshop.  If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out!  And if you register, THANK YOU so much!!

I hope you have a fabulous Sunday!
 
Space to be Human Lab
CranioSacral therapy provides a gentle touch that can feel like a balm to a burned-out nervous system.  Get some relief from that monkey mind!  You can book a CranioSacral session here (use code “CRANIO” for $20 off through 8/31/23).
 
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Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Mindset, Productivity

When Your To Do’s Have Babies

heather

Ha!  I was reviewing my post from 2 weeks ago where I opened with a description of how gorgeous the weather is.  Today is absolutely non-gorgeous.  It’s blustery, cold, and it may actually freaking snow.  On a brighter note, that means I’m inside at my computer writing to you instead of outside on my deck finishing The Initiate Brother.
 
Now on to my point.
 
My point today, is that my point in these newsletters is often the same.  I am usually having some revelation or another, making adjustments, and then eventually getting myself back into the same situation I thought I had just got myself out of. 
 
How many times do I have to go through this cycle of epiphany and then confusion, ad nauseum?? And the answer is, as many times as it takes.
 
Because each cycle is different.
 
With each cycle, I’m in a different head space and heart space; I’m at a different level of consciousness.  I’ve learned something, even if it’s the littlest smidge of a thing. 
 
As we move up the spiral of consciousness, each time we revisit the SAME OL’ SH!T, it’s from a slightly shifted vantage point.  We can see things we didn’t see a year, month, even a week ago.  We have to be ready to see it; we can’t comprehend it a minute before we’re ready.
 
I’ve been thinking about this vis a vis To Do lists.  I have many of them.  For my personal life I have a Master To Do list, and a daily To Do list, and my office is papered in yellow post-its for the REALLY IMPORTANT, MUST NOT FORGET THIS THING items.  And then when it comes to work, I have lists in Microsoft To Do, lists in my calendar, lists in my notebook, and a lovely assortment of work-related post-its.  One could make a full-time job out of organizing To Do lists.
 
Every once in awhile I will have that epiphany – the To Do list will NEVER be done.  The To Dos you accomplish have a way of creating more To Dos, and then those To Do’s get it on and have even MORE To Dos.  And eventually you are swimming in generations of To Do’s. 
 
What to do about this To Do situation?  Here is what I think the answer is, from my current level of consciousness:
 
#1 – Figure out how to enjoy life while having an unfinished To Do list.  I often think, “When my list is done, THEN I can relax.”  But when I truly comprehend that it’s a river that never stops, then I can slow down, tell myself there is no need to rush through this To Do because there is just another one right behind it.  Might as well appreciate what you can appreciate about the process, and don’t forget to BREATHE while you’re getting sh!t done!   
 
#2 – Focus on Quality over Quantity.  When I rush through my To Dos, I often find that I cut corners.  In the speed of the moment, sympathetic drive takes over, my vision narrows, and I lose the peripheral perspective.  I make silly mistakes, causing myself more work down the line.  Measure twice, cut once!
 
#3 – Just do one thing.  This is something I tell myself over and over again.  My default mode is to do 3-4 things simultaneously – listen to a podcast while doing the dishes while cooking (aka burning) breakfast on the stove, while also randomly putting items back in the cupboard as I switch between the soapy dishes and the frying bacon.  Lately I’ve started writing MY ONE THING on a sticky note and putting it on my desk.  I set my Time Timer for 25 minutes and work on that one thing.  No responding to emails or IMs or Huehue’s insistent impatient huffing.  Whew – there is so much peace when I can do that!


 
Again, none of this information is new or earth-shattering.  It all, as always, boils down to a few well known axioms:  Be here now, stop and smell the roses, let go of what you can’t control, etc.  But I repeat it because when you last heard those axioms, you were a different person than who you are right now, so maybe, just maybe, the April 16, 2023 iteration of You needs to hear it again!
 
Space to be Human Lab – Helping you heal so you can get back to doing what you love
 
If you like the idea of getting some space from your thoughts, and deep relief and support for your frayed nervous system, I invite you to book a CranioSacral session.  April is CraniosSacral Therapy Awareness Month, so I am offering 75 minute sessions for $80 (a discount of $20).  Book a 75 minute session and use code “CRANIO.”  If you are a new client, you can book here.
 
Quad City Health & Wellness Professionals Mixer
If you are a health and wellness professional and you would like to connect with other like-minded peeps, please join us at the monthly QCHWP Mixer on April 24th from 5PM-7PM.  You can find more info here, and you can register here.
 
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Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Mindset, Productivity

The Forgetting & The Remembering

heather

Going through this health coaching program is reminding me of all the things I’ve known and then promptly forgotten about how to take care of this body!  As of late, I’ve been bonked over the head with the reminder to do 150-200 minutes of moderate intensity aerobic activity each week.  It was included in the class materials, then Dr. Huberman mentioned it as part of his Foundation Fitness Protocol, then Robb Wolf mentioned it on his recent podcast, and then I listened to a podcast with Dr. Huberman and Dr. Layne Norton where they mentioned it as well.  OK OK – I get it!!
 
So Saturday I went out for a little jog/walk with the intent to stay within my Zone 2 heart rate. I was targeting about 122 (there are several different ways to calculate your Zone 2 HR – here are two sources: Phil Maffetone and MindBodyGreen).  When I walked, my HR was too low, and when I ran for longer than a few minutes, it was too high.  So I used my watch to moderate my pace.  I would speed up when my HR got too low and then slow down when my HR got too high. 
 
As I used my watch to modify my behavior, I realized how difficult it is to always stay on target – whether that is a target heart rate, or if it’s a target level of busy-ness/self-care.  It’s much easier, and probably more human, to go too hard – be too busy – and then realize, “Ugh, this isn’t working for me” and then slow waaaaay down.  And then suddenly you realize you’re watching way too much TV or coddling yourself just a LITTLE too much, and then you start amping up your projects, commitments, and workload.  Back and forth ad nauseum.  It would be so helpful to have a Heart Rate monitor for your life energy!
 
The concept of discovering and rediscovering the middle path is one I’m undergoing always.  Between work (at the bank and at Space to be Human), training (Health Coaching, Somatic Experiencing, and Upledger Cranial Sacral), and life (eating, cleaning, exercising, connecting with people I care about, sleeping, etc.), I realized that I have, indeed, swung too far off center yet again – veering into the overwhelm zone.
 
So I went back to the drawing board.  I wrote a list of things I need to do each week, and alongside it, a list of my core values:  Family/Connection, Learning, Health.  Then I went through my calendar and cleaned it up to get rid of things I cannot do (even though I might really WANT to do them), and then I took my long list of To Dos and either found a spot to schedule them in, or I just crossed them off my list.
 
I have more work to do on this, but at least right now I am feeling as if I have a doable couple of weeks ahead of me.  It helps that we are going to Florida over Christmas break, and my health coaching class is on hiatus. 😊  I’m also going to take the advice of my Business Coach and GUARD MY TIME in January. Wintertime is when Nature rests and lies fallow. I need to follow her good example and figure out where I can let go!
 

“Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.”  Rumi
 
Space to be Human Lab
If you are in pain and want to get back to doing what you love, you can book a bodywork session here. 

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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Productivity

Getting more bang for your Thinking Buck

heather

The human brain is a funny thing.  In Dr. Betsy Rippentrop’s Yoga for the Mind class, I learned something that massively shifted my perspective.  The human brain is like Teflon for the good stuff and Velcro for the bad stuff.  The good flows right on by, and the bad just sits there and festers.  This is a handy feature when the bad stuff can kill you, but in modern times, that “bad stuff” is often comprised of less deadly things such as your computer re-booting while you’re in the middle of crafting a nasty ol’ spreadsheet with lots of formulas and data that you have not yet saved, or getting (what you think) is a frustrated look from your boss in a meeting, or making a post on Instagram and getting only crickets in return. Yet, our mind fixates on those things, and we can quickly spin off into stories about how the world is crumbling and everyone and everything sucks, especially us.
 
So, what to do?
 
We must consciously focus on what is going well.  Recognize that our brains have this tendency to catastrophize, so intentionally pro-tastrophize or opportunitize or miracalize.  I cannot find an antonym to catastrophize, so I’m just making words up.  But you get the picture. 
 
Spend time thinking about what DID go right, what COULD go right, what IS going right in our day, in our body, in our life.  Our body is constantly releasing a slew of chemicals in response to our thoughts that changes the soup in which our cells live, and that soup determines what our cells do and what genes are activated within them.  We are not at the total mercy of the genes we carry.  The genes that get activated are determined by the signals they get from their environment.
 
Want some proof of the importance of mindset?  Check out this study: Mind-set Matters; Exercise and the Placebo Effect. Here’s a quote form the Abstract (underlining is mine):
 
In a study testing whether the relationship between exercise and health is moderated by one’s mindset, 84 female room attendants working in seven different hotels were measured on physiological health variables affected by exercise. Those in the informed condition were told that the work they do (cleaning hotel rooms) is good exercise and satisfies the Surgeon General’s recommendations for an active lifestyle. Examples of how their work was exercise were provided. Subjects in the control group were not given this information. Although actual behavior did not change, 4 weeks after the intervention, the informed group perceived themselves to be getting significantly more exercise than before. As a result, compared with the control group, they showed a decrease in weight, blood pressure, body fat, waist-to-hip ratio, and body mass index. These results support the hypothesis that exercise affects health in part or in whole via the placebo effect.
 
What the??  If we BELIEVE that what we are doing is good for us, our physiology changes to make it so!!!  This is mind-blowing. Let’s say you are a person who feels as if you never get enough exercise.  However, every morning, you walk down the stairs to brush your teeth, you bend over to get coffee out of the cupboard, you reach up to get a coffee cup, you let the dog out in the yard and toss the ball a few times and maybe chase the dog when it won’t give you the ball back.  You walk back inside and go upstairs to get dressed, reaching to the top shelf in your closet for your sweater and squatting down to get the socks out of the bottom drawer.
 
Well, look at that. You actually got in a lot of movement – shoulder stretches, squats, a little cardio, some incline and declines.  What if you started noticing all the ways you DO get enough exercise instead of telling yourself you are failing because you don’t go to the gym a few times a week.  How would your body change?
 
What other stories could you tell yourself differently to shift how your body reacts to them?  As I’ve mentioned, I’ve been working with a coach, Ariel Kiley. I email her my Wins whenever I think of them (e.g. I am winning at Sober October because I haven’t had a drink yet, or I am FULLY BOOKED this week, or my body told me to quit obsessing about WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE and just take a bath (which I did)).  This is helping me counteract that negativity bias, and it’s also providing an electronic, searchable record of my Wins, so that I can pull them up when I feel poorly about myself.  SO HELPFUL.
 
I hope you are having a great day!!  If you need a Miracalize or Opportunize Partner, feel free to shoot me an email when you get a Win. <3
 
Space to be Human Lab

  • Curious about Cranial Sacral Therapy?  Get $15 off for the month of October (use code CRANIAL) when you book your session.

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Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Productivity, Yoga

What Do Meditation, Range, And Addiction Have In Common?

heather


I’m aligning with my Gemini Rising self today and sharing a medley of things I’m reading, listening to, or pondering.
 
Meditation Medley
My Meditation Medley class has begun!  We spent the first week practicing Just One Breath.  Over the next several weeks we’ll explore several other types.  It’s not too late to sign up for the class!

  • The class will be held on the following dates from 12:45PM – 1PM CDT:
    • Aug 30, 2022 12:45 PM
    • Sep 6, 2022 12:45 PM
    • Sep 13, 2022 12:45 PM
    • Sep 20, 2022 12:45 PM
    • Sep 27, 2022 12:45 PM
  • You can register for the class here.
  • For payment, I am asking for donations to the QC Yoga Foundation.  We’d love to get a donation of $25 for the class, but any amount or no amount is also acceptable. 
    • You can make a donation to the QC Yoga Foundation here. 

Here is a link to the recording from Week 1, in case you want to check out what a class is like.   The class is held over Zoom, but you don’t need to share your camera.  You can see me, in case that helps you focus better (our faces help co-regulate each other, per Science and polyvagal theory).

Range
One of my favorite authors and mentors (Dr. Matthew Taylor) gave me this book to read: Range:  Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World.  As a Generalist who historically has felt bad about being a Generalist, I have to say I LOVE THIS BOOK.  It’s making me appreciate my natural inclinations instead of seeing them as a fault. 

This book provides many stories (about Vivaldi, Van Gogh, Sebastian Junger, Haruki Murakami, Patrick Rothfuss, etc.)  and much research to support the benefits of pursuing many different interests as a method for figuring out what you really want to do with this one wild and crazy life.

Trying many things and failing is a how you figure out what you really love to do.  Taking ACTION to figure out what you want to do with your life (“I know who I am when I see what I do”) is the secret sauce.

The advice from the book in a nutshell: Dabble!!  Flirt with your possible selves!  Work forward from promising situations instead of working backwards from a goal.

Being a Generalist also helps you synthesize ideas from a variety of domains, which can lead to really inspired insights that someone who goes super deep into one specific area may miss.

I’m about half-way through the book, so I may write more about it in a future letter.  Little known fact – in 5th grade I broke the school record for writing the most book reports, so I have some skillz in that domain.

Addiction
“You’re not alone, and I love you.”  If we approached our loved ones who suffer from addiction with that energy, what would shift?  According to this TedTalk, the antidote to addiction is CONNECTION!

Alcohol
And on a related note, Dr. Huberman (one of my favorite podcasters and scientists) did a podcast episode on alcohol and its effects on the body. If you enjoy a cocktail regularly (especially if you average 7-14 drinks/week (like I do)), this podcast will give you pause.  The effects on brain health, hormonal health, gut health, mental health, and immune system health are, not to be too dramatic, but devastating.  This podcast has given me some really meaty food for thought.  I’m not sure where I’ll go with this, but I’m considering at least another 30 day reset. 

Space to be Human Lab

  • I appreciate referrals SO MUCH.  If you know someone who needs to work with me, please send them my way.  If they book a session, I’ll apply a coupon for $10 off your next session.  Thank you!!
  • Here is a link to book an NST session, a Yoga Tune Up session, or purchase gift certificates.

I hope you are enjoying this late summer evening!  I had my windows open today, and I feel as if I was deafened by the cicadas!  

<3

Heather

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Productivity, Uncategorized

On Liberating Constraints (aka Bossy Calendars)

heather

What do you think of when you hear the phrase, “calendar worship”?  When I first heard it, my ego was like, “Nuh-uh. Nope.  That’s not healthy.  That’s too restrictive.”  But then when I was introduced to the concept of “liberating constraint” in conjunction with “calendar worship,” my perspective shifted.  By putting self-imposed restrictions on our time, it can actually free up more brain space and energy to actually DO the things we want to do.  It can be a boon to focus and flow.  Let me explain.

I’ve been working with a business coach, Kate Reuter, and in response to my frustrations about having too much to do and too little time in which to do it, she encouraged me to start following The Life Coach School – Monday Hour One protocol.  With this protocol, you take your whole To Do list, and you book EVERYTHING on your calendar.  And then you throw away your To Do list.  You don’t need it anymore, because everything you need to do is now on your calendar. 

Easy Peasy, right?

Ha!  Well, it’s not easy.  But it IS eye-opening.

First I pulled together all the random to-do lists I have.  Then I put them in a To Do app (Todoist), and then I integrated that with my Gmail calendar.  That didn’t work so well.

Next, I actually did what Kate told me to do (Funny how one resists taking advice from an expert that one is paying quite a bit of money for.  Human brains are funny). I took my bullet journal (which is where I keep some of my tasks/appointments), my Acuity calendar (which is where I keep my bodywork appointments), and then I pulled up my Gmail calendar (which is where birthdays, some reminders, and some appointments are tracked).  No wonder I consistently feel overwhelmed – so much data in so many places.  Not to mention my Outlook calendar (which is where my appointments/tasks/reminders for my job as a project & resource manager at the bank are kept), but I’m keeping that sequestered for now.

I took all of my non-bank stuff and put it ALL on my Gmail calendar.  I started by putting in my recurring stuff:  Morning coffee & reading & writing, meditation, work-outs, showers, meals, blocks for when I work at the bank, blocks for when I see clients, and blocks for sleeping (8 hours/night). 

O M G

Before this exercise, I experienced so much self-recrimination for not accomplishing more in my week.  Why don’t I actually DO the classes I have paid for?  Why don’t I read more?  Why don’t I write more?  Why has my car been perilously close to empty for a week? 

Because my week is already pretty damn full with Living Life stuff – eating, sleeping, working. 

This was so eye-opening.  Yes, I do have some blocks of open time in my week, but I don’t have enough blocks to do EVERYTHING at the same time.  Which means I have to look at my values, and schedule those open blocks in alignment with my values.  I have to CHOOSE what is most important, and then block out time on the calendar to accomplish that.

For the past 3 weeks I have been spending an hour on Sundays planning out the upcoming week.  I already have all those recurring appointments in my calendar, which takes care of a big chunk of my week. I then take my list of To Dos that have accumulated over the week and book time for them in my calendar, and I reserve time for the following:

  • Relaxation and NOT doing stuff (usually Saturday afternoon and evening and tidbits of time throughout the week)
  • Finishing the Buteyko Breathing Certification class I bought LAST YEAR
  • Connecting with friends and/or family
  • Creating the Bodymind Blindspot Assessment and Program
  • And the misc. appointments and meetings that need to occur that week

What have I learned whilst doing this process:

  • Scheduling “free time” is liberating.  I can NOT do anything and NOT feel guilty.  “I’m just following my schedule, Ego, you can just be quiet now.”
  • I can’t do everything.  I have more realistic expectations for myself now.
  • Putting stuff on the calendar gets it out of your head, reducing “cognitive load.”  What that means is that all that stuff floating around in your head that you know you have to do “some time” takes up working memory and makes you less focused and efficient.
  • It takes discipline to do what you have scheduled to do.  Sometimes I don’t “feel” like it.  And then sometimes I don’t follow my calendar.  But sometimes I do, and then I feel very proud of myself, which is a lovely feeling!!
  • While I love working with a paper calendar, working with an online calendar makes setting up recurring events and adjusting the calendar much easier.
  • I continue to refine my calendar, based on how things went the prior week.  Each week I have a better idea of how much time things should take and what kind of balance of doing vs. being I need in order to stay sane.

If this concepts piques your interest, here are some additional resources:

Flow Research Collective – Calendar Worship and Time Tracking

  • This introduces you to the theory of “liberating constraint” and the logistics of how to start creating a calendar that will help you get into Flow.  Plus the host of the class has a gorgeous accent.  <3.

The Life Coach School – Monday Hour One

  • Brooke Castillo walks you through her approach.  I personally use kind of a hybrid between the FRC and LCS approaches.

From a spiritual, whole-person wellbeing approach, here is time-tracking guidance from “Yoga Therapy as a Creative Response to Pain” by Dr.  Matthew Taylor:

“Abusing your time commitments is participating in violence against self.  This may be in the form of overscheduling to the point that you are never still.  Or it may be by allocating your time in a manner that doesn’t reflect your inner priorities.

Both create strain and turbulence.  We aren’t machines designed to run at maximum capacity.  Try making a list of your values and prioritize them, then compare those priorities with how you actually spend your time.  Keep this list and check it each week as you plan your time.  Schedule just “being” time and honor that as a high priority.  Set the intention, set the schedule for a human (I LOVE THIS), then review.  Every week.”

Let me know if you have any questions about how I am implementing this advice, or if you need some ideas about how to get started without overwhelming yourself.

And now on to some news to share with my clients:

I am likely going to be moving in to MY OWN SPACE within the next month or so!! The new space will enable me to offer additional appointment times, and I’ll be able to offer you more treatment options including restorative yoga, mindful movement coaching, and resources to help with shifting your mindset.  I will also have an electric table, which will make it easier for you to get on and off the table, as well as enable me to lower the table, so I can more effectively treat those hips!  I am finalizing the details, but I wanted to give you a heads up as early as possible.  When I move to the new space, I will send an update in the newsletter and within your reminders from Acuity. 

Due to a variety of factors, I will also need to increase my rates.  Starting 2/1/22 rates for follow-up appointments will increase by $10.  I have options that will help keep your cost per treatment down, so please reach out to me if interested.

As always, if anything I wrote piques your interest, and you want to know more, holler at me.  I want to know what YOU want to know!  And if you need some help with reducing pain, improving your performance, or with feeling more at home in your body, you can book with me here. 

Whew, I budgeted 90 minutes for this letter, so I better scoot so I can get it loaded and sent out within the remaining 20 minutes.  Hope you have a great Sunday and chat with you next week!