I’m no expert on quantum physics. Well, really I know very little about quantum physics, But what I gather, is that basically all potentialities exist, and only once something is observed, does it settle into being one thing over another. So everything around us is kind of EVERYTHING all at once until we look at it, and then it becomes a can of Waterloo, an iPhone, a book, a dark chocolate caramel cream. It kinda makes reality get a bit wonky and shifty and slippery. So maybe my understanding is wrong. Or maybe it isn’t. Or maybe me believing that this is what quantum physics IS makes quantum physics work that way in MY world.
I was reminded of this weirdness in quantum physics as I dove into the Week 4 reading for my coaching certification. I have a deep crush on two books in my class: Appreciative Coaching and Motivational Interviewing. Both of these books teach us that we can become masterful in our lives. We are not “problems to be solved but miracles and mysteries to be appreciated.” We are not slaves to the past. Small changes can lead to big differences in our life. And this:
THE ACT OF ASKING QUESTIONS INFLUENCES THE INDIVIDUAL (much like how, in quantum physics, being observed changes what’s being observed).
Just by asking a question, worlds can shift.
I’ve experienced this many time with my coaches. They’ll ask a question, and BAM! I sheepishly realize that I was seeing the situation with blinders on – only seeing the one negative interpretation when literally countless options of reality exist in which I can put my belief. With that one question, my world view shifted.
Appreciative Coaching introduced me to “The Poetic Principle,” which “suggests that life stories can be rewritten to better fit how clients see themselves in their present or future.” A person can take poetic license to reframe their story. We can re-imagine what our life experiences mean.
For example, for many years I was embarrassed by the fact that I didn’t get my bachelor’s degree right after high school like “normal” people. I went to community college for a bit, got married, worked part-time as a teller, became an admin assistant, then decided I needed to get a 4-year degree, so I went to college at night while working full-time. Then since all my coworkers were getting their MBAs, I decided I should get one too. I was already in school-mode, so why not just keep going? But I really felt as if I didn’t belong with everyone else in that program. They all had these college experiences of playing sports, living in dorms, partying, being involved in sororities and making amazing life-long friendships. I sorely regretted that I didn’t have that experience.
Now I look back on that time, and with my poetic license, I feel impressed with my drive and tenacity. I got my bachelor’s and my master’s while working full-time; I graduated with distinction, and I finished school with minimal student debt, as the bank I worked for offered tuition reimbursement. I kicked off a habit of life-long learning that has kept my mind active and which has taken me on journeys around the county and introduced me to so many brilliant people. I took the path less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
How would you re-write your story, to draw out and highlight your strengths? How can you discover and celebrate your successes? You could ask yourself some tough questions about your standard life story – Is that true? How do you know it’s true? What if the opposite was true? Who would you be if you believed in a different truth? (For more info on these types of questions, you can check out Byron Kate.).
And with that, I’m signing off. I need to baby myself a bit today because the time change has messed with my temporal existence, and I don’t know if it’s time to go to bed or time to go to lunch (and yes, I realize this is a story I’m telling myself about DST!!).
Happy Sunday My Peeps!
Space to be Human Lab
- If you would like to get your body moving better and feeling better before getting inundated with sweets, treats, and visitors, you can book a session here.
- I am doing market research! I’m looking for people who have a gap between where they are and where they want to be. I am curious about what has gotten in your way in the past, what kind of help you would want from a coach, and what life would look like to you if you were flourishing. If you are interested in sharing your thoughts with me, reply to this email with the words, “I want to chat,” and I’ll contact you with more details.
If you would like to sign up to get these posts sent to you directly, please click here.