Honestly, I’m struggling a bit with what to write today. So part of me was like, well, let’s just skip the post for today. And then another part of me was like, Heather, you enjoy writing these, and people have told me they enjoy reading them, so just go ahead and do it! And then another part of me was like, always doing the easy things does not a happy life make. So I talked myself into writing. (Side note: A client recently told me that her therapist said that not everyone has a constant stream of conversation going on their heads. I was blown away. This never-ending chatter and decision (or indecision) by internal committee isn’t a main feature in everyone’s brainpan??)
Anyway, I digress.
On to the subject of today’s email: I’ve been working through the 4 Core Questions of Appreciative Coaching:
- What gives life to you right now?
- Describe a high point or peak experience in your life or work up until now.
- What do you most value about yourself, your relationships, and the nature of your work?
- What 1 or 2 things do you want more of in your life?
Writing out the answers to these questions was very eye-opening. The first question led me down the What If path. I was writing about how I absolutely LOVE my coaching class. I love the philosophy and intent behind the methodologies they teach. At the core of coaching is the belief that the client is the expert on herself, and my job as a coach is to support and partner with her to essentially help her realize how awesome and powerful she is.
But DAMN. Coaching is HARD. It involves asking a lot of questions, drawing out the client’s motivations and values, being FULLY PRESENT and listening with your whole being, holding your tongue when you really just want to TELL them what to do (and you sense the client WANTS to be told what to do). A coach needs to artfully help the client extract the answers for herself, while providing information in little tidbits, and then only after getting the client’s permission to do so (because the Client is in the driver’s seat).
So, coaching is hard. And I know I’m not great at it yet. And I know that the only way to get great at it is to practice. But I hate doing something I’m not great at yet. And then I’m caught in an infinite loop.
So I started playing the What If game:
- What if I am this client’s best option to reach her goals?
- What if it is up to ME (just like it was up to Bastian in The Never Ending Story) to do what needs to be done, no matter how unimportant or unqualified or inexperienced I think I am (or FEEL I am)?
- What if I need to feel inadequate and do it anyway?
- What if I saw my feelings and actually felt them instead of THINKING about them?
This led to the I Choose game:
- I choose strength
- I choose clarity
- I choose action
- I choose energy
- I choose joy
- I choose challenge
- I choose to live
- I choose to find out what I’m made of
- I choose long term success over short term pleasure
So much of what we think and do is a choice – whether we choose to see it that way or not is another story!
I choose to share that with you because our human nature is to focus on our faults instead of our strengths, and I know many of us struggle with confidence and the imposter syndrome and the belief that we are not good enough or smart enough to live as big as we would like to, or to take risks in the service of a dream. But what if we choose to notice those thoughts and to really sense those feelings and then we decide to keep moving towards that goal anyway? What if? What do you Choose?
“Conscious living means becoming aware of all the choices we have and acting on them.” (Michael Arlowski, PHd)
Space to be Human Lab – Helping you heal so you can get back to doing what you love
If you like the idea of getting some space from your thoughts and deep relief and support for your frayed nervous system, I invite you to book a CranioSacral session. April is CraniosSacral Therapy Awareness Month, so I am offering 75 minute sessions for $80 (a discount of $20). Book a 75 minute session and use code “CRANIO.” If you are a new client, you can book here.
Quad City Health & Wellness Professionals Mixer
If you are a health and wellness professional, and you would like to connect with other like-minded, supportive souls, please join us at the monthly QCHWP Mixer, held the 4th Monday of every month at Crawford Brewery from 5-7. You can find more info here, and you can register here.
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