I just finished this book: Rushing Woman’s Syndrome: “The Impact of a Never-Ending To-Do List and How to Stay Healthy in Today’s Busy World by Dr. Libby Weaver. As a long-time Rusher (I remember kids in high school making fun of how fast I walked through the hallways), I just had to pick up this book when I heard about it on this podcast. The book provides a great overview of why we rush, what happens to our bodies when we rush, and what we can do to change this habit of DOING EVERYTHING AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.
I appreciate the history lesson at the beginning of the book; Dr. Weaver gives a brief synopsis of the rate of change we are currently experiencing:
- 150,000-200,000 years ago: Humans came on the scene. They were nomads who lived off the land. They moved all day long and lived mostly outside, aligned with the rhythms of nature. They ate vegetables, fruit, meat, fish, nuts, seeds.
- 7,500-10,000 years ago: Humans started farming, which meant staying in one place, moving less, and increased consumption of grains and milk. They were still aligned with the major Earth cycles – light/dark, the moon, the seasons.
- 250 years ago: Change began to quicken as the Industrial Revolution began. Humans moved into cities, started moving even less, and became less connected to their food sources and nature.
- 30 years ago: The Internet was born. We are now connected 24/7 to electronic devices that never sleep. We are always “on.” Processed, calorie-laden food is available at a touch of a button. The pace of change is insanely fast. Spare moments are often consumed with checking emails, social media, looking up any question that filters into our brain. Unless we consciously protect our time, we no longer have any moments where we are not doing anything. We spend more time looking at screens than we do looking at the sky or trees or into our own inner worlds.
Humans spent 200,000 years having a lot of down time, a lot of opportunities to be bored, a lot of space to look around and see what was on the horizon. Our systems are built on that infrastructure. Change has exceeded our capacity to accommodate to it. Understanding this has helped me appreciate why myself and so many of my clients, friends, and family feel completely overwhelmed and buzzy.
You can likely guess the impact of forcing this amount of speed and activity into a system not built to handle it, but I’ll give you a few highlights just in case:
- Nervous system disregulation – feeling stressed or anxious, feeling on “high alert.”
- Endocrine (hormone) issues – bad periods, debilitating menopause, thyroid issues, reproductive challenges.
- Digestive issues.
- Immune system issues.
- Weight gain.
- Poor sleep.
- Emotional strain.
If any of that, or ALL of it, sounds familiar, the good news is that there is hope. There many ways we can start to shift out of the Rushing paradigm, and I list several from the book below. We all have unique circumstances and systems, so some of these ideas may resonate with you, and others may be laughable!
- Go outside and get early morning light in your eyes (it helps set our internal body clocks). Go for a walk or do some breath work (20 long, slow breaths that move the respiratory diaphragm).
- Renewal and rest are CRUCIAL to our health.
- Take a day of rest or leisure each week (which means not checking emails/social media).
- Pause and focus on THIS moment and notice the beauty of life.
- Create a spaciousness/daily relaxation ritual in whatever format that looks like to you: reading a magazine, sitting in the sun, going for a walk. If you didn’t have to work or worry about others today, what would you most love to do? Can you find a way to do that for 20 minutes? Or even just 2 minutes?
- Seek moments of solitude.
- Experiment with bringing more feminine rituals into your life: create > produce, dance, sing, laugh, notice the fragrance of your tea, look at the moon.
- Eating Behaviors
- Eat real food with ingredients you can pronounce. Dr. Weaver provides a lot more info on food/supplements/blood testing in the book.
- Consume less caffeine, alcohol, sugar (all of these substances tax the liver).
- Chew your food before swallowing; set down the fork between bites. Eat in calm surroundings (no TV or scrolling on the phone; this one is so hard for me!). Pay attention to how your body feels after eating to tune in to what serves you.
- Examine our beliefs and behaviors with curiosity and compassion (no judgement). Maybe do some free writing on these questions:
- What do we do to “keep the peace”?
- How are we avoiding emotional pain? What is the cost?
- What do we feel we have to do to be loved?
- Why do we do what we do? Some possibilities:
- Scared of getting into trouble or letting others down or being rejected.
- Doing ANYTHING (even sacrificing our own health and happiness) to keep the peace and avoid conflict.
- Explore reframing how we look at our responsibilities/choices:
- Do we HAVE to do all this? Do we CHOOSE to do all this? Do we GET to do all this (what can we be grateful for here?)?
- How can we see this as an adventure or a gift?
I still struggle with Rushing, depending on the amount of uncertainty or pressure at work (and how much pressure I am putting on myself out of fear of not being “good” enough), but overall I feel more at ease these days. A big key for me has been building awareness around my behaviors. When I start knocking stuff over, or burning food on the stove, or when I feel like I can’t take a deep breath, it’s my cue to pause for a moment and notice what is going on. Is it urgent that I fill up the tea kettle, while also frying eggs, while also adding “Tabasco” to the Target list? Or could I just focus on frying my egg, and then boil the water later, or maybe not boil water at all? If I forget to get Tabasco, will the world end? I’ve realized I put a lot of needless pressure on myself. This is a simple example, and I know we all have very serious things that really must be done. AND approaching those things from a calm, grounded place with awareness of what is TRUE and REAL (versus a story I am making up about it in my head), can provide much-needed perspective and spaciousness
Over the past year, I’ve also received a lot of Organic Intelligence® (OI) coaching, and that has helped my system increase capacity to hold more uncertainty with grace. OI is a beautiful practice because in a subtle way it helps you find more appreciation for yourself as you are, and it doesn’t make you feel as if you have yet ONE MORE THING to work on to become the person you want to be. In so many ways you already are, you just haven’t had a moment to notice.
If you would like more spaciousness in your life and more appreciation for what is right with you right now, I invite you to enjoy some OI with me. I am offering returning clients a free 30-minute OI coaching session before a 60 minute bodywork session. You can book an OI+Bodywork session here: https://spacetobehuman.as.me/OIBodywork. There is nothing you need to do to prepare for an OI session. We just chat and work with whatever arises organically in the Field, and hopefully we have a few moments of lighthearted joy in the process.
I hope you have a great Sunday!
Ways to work with me
- You can book a bodywork session here.
- You can book an OI+Bodywork session here.
- You can book a free consultation here, if you want to chat about how we could work together.
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