Sunday Letters

Pain

Grief is Weird

heather

It’s been a few months since I’ve written.  About 11, in point of fact.  What’s the reason for this long, quiet absence?  Well, it’s multi-factorial.  Life in general has been busy.  Heather in general has been feeling unmotivated.  I’ve spent a lot of time numbing life and avoiding my feelings by watching the complete canon of Friends, Gilmore Girls, and Cranford, with a little Hart of Dixie thrown in.

To my defense, I DID do some constructive things as well.  I completed my Organic Intelligence year-long coaching program, I traveled to some new places (Durango, CO and northern WI), I biked a metric century (66 miles!), I learned a lot about energy work, and most importantly I spent A LOT of time with family.  And it was this, more than anything, that defined my 2025.

In November of 2025, my father passed away.  He had been ill for a long time with COPD and heart disease, but this year felt different.  His breathing was much worse; he constantly struggled to get enough oxygen.  And his body just started breaking down – it was difficult for him to swallow; his back and shoulders hurt all the time.  He moved less and less and got tired and disconnected much more quickly.  Part of me believed that he would somehow just live forever and part of me realized that my time with him was short.

But when he actually passed away, I just felt total, absolute shock.  It was just so so unbelievable that one day he was there, and the next day, he was just gone.  How is that even fucking possible??  How can someone who is such a part of your life and who has ALWAYS been there, just NOT be there anymore??  There is just this huge whole in the fabric of our lives.  I know that death is the ONE thing we will all experience, but it just felt/feels so WRONG.

The first few days after he passed were so surreal.  This monumental, life-changing thing has happened, but you need to call doctors, cancel appointments, arrange services, notify people, make Facebook posts, etc.  And then when all that’s done, you have to start processing bills, dig through filing cabinets, mail out death certificates.  It’s such a bewildering mix of grief, project management, and regret. 

I tried to visit Dad as much as I could over this past year, and I called him regularly on my morning walks, but if I had known the end was so close, I would have done so much more – tried to provide more comfort, more care, more love, more space for him to speak his mind.  He knew I loved him SO much, but I would have made sure he had absolutely NO doubt about just how much I loved him, and how grateful I was that he was my dad.

It is such a hard time.  And we were so fortunate in our family and friends.  People I haven’t seen in 25+ years came to his Celebration of Life, which was held way out in the country in Monticello, and so many people sent cards and food and texts and continued to check in for weeks and months afterwards.  So amazingly thoughtful.

We are little over 2 months out from Dad’s death.  And yet I still get this reflexive impulse to call him when something interesting happens, or when I think of something that he would find funny.  I hope I never lose that impulse.  I miss his voice. I miss his presence.  I miss his wacky text messages and oddball sense of humor.  I miss him just always being there, reigning over the kitchen table, making sure that everything around him was happening JUST SO.  He was sick for so many years, that we all were kinda satellites revolving around him, so it feels a bit like our central planet is gone.  And now we start the journey of finding a new set point.

2025, in a nutshell, was me living in limbo land while I tried to figure out how to juggle all the pieces of life and death, connection and loss, action and rest.  It was a year of sorrow & love, suffering & gratitude.

In 2026, I hope to engage with life a bit more fully – do more writing, create more art, do more traveling, connect more with the people I love.  It’s clearer than ever to me, that this life does, in fact, have an end point, and I want to jump back into it.

Thanks for reading.  And for all those out there who have lost a loved one, my heart goes out to you. I had no idea how much it hurt until I personally experienced it.  Sending love.

Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Trauma

On Being Human (Whatever that means)

heather

If you were to describe a human to an alien who had never before encountered the species, what would you say?  Would you talk about the number of arms and legs? Would you have to describe what arms and legs are??  Would you talk about all the body systems – how the heart sends blood all over the body, how the lungs bring in oxygen and send out carbon dioxide?  Would you talk about how we live? How we think?  How we feel?  What exactly, makes us human?
 
I wonder about this kind of stuff a lot.  I LOVED all the anatomy I learned at the Center for Neurosomatic Studies. Every Friday for 4 hours we learned about bones, muscles, ligaments, systems, organs.  It was fascinating. And the more I learned, the more I realized how little I knew about who and what we are – who and what I am.
 
And this process of moving from knowing so little that I thought I knew a lot – to knowing slightly more and realizing that I actually know very, very little (Dunning-Kurger Effect) has continued on apace ever since then.
 
I recently encountered another book that made me question, again, WHAT THE HECK ARE WE??  This book is “Anatomy of the Spirit” by Caroline Myss.  She is a medical intuitive, which, from what I can tell, means that she can read people’s energy and just KNOW what is off in their systems.  That’s ridiculous, you say?  I probably would have said that as well a few years ago, but now I have met too many mystical people, had too many “WHOA” experiences of my own, and heard too many tales of magic and wonder (many of which are scientifically proven) to remain a disbeliever.  (If you want a real mind bender, check out https://thetelepathytapes.com/ – a podcast about nonverbal children who can read minds).
 
In her book, Caroline talks about how our bodies are the manifestation of our spirit – our spirit in material form, said another way.  So everything that affects our spirit affects our body, and vice versa. 
 
She notes that “your physical body is surrounded by an energy field that extends as far out as your outstretched arms and the full length of your body. It is both an information center and a highly sensitive perceptual system.  We are constantly “in communication” with everything around us through this system, which is a kind of conscious electricity that transmits and receives messages to and from other people’s bodies.  These messages from and within the energy field are what intuitives perceive.”  Interestingly, this energy field is measurable by instruments and by the human hand.  Next time you see me, I can show you how you can feel your own energy field.
 
And we are ALL intuitive.  This can show up as gut feelings – a knowing that you should cross the street right now or that maybe you shouldn’t go to that class this weekend. It can show up as an mental niggling that just won’t go away – “You should text Nikki and see how she is doing.”  Or maybe you take a bite of something and feel a little off – your intuition is saying NOPE. 
 
In this book, she provides guidance on how to tune in to our own energy systems and support our spirits.  There is SO MUCH in this book – too much to cover in detail in this letter, but here are some highlights that really jumped out at me (honestly, I just really want to record them, so that I can refer back to them easily.  This stuff blows my mind and could change my life, but I quickly forget about it and go back to the status quo):

  • To build intuition
    • Stay with your first impression (trust yourself).
    • Have a reflective state of mind.
      • Self-inquiry is a spiritual task that helps us develop faith in ourselves.
    • Objectivity is key.
    • Don’t be casual about your spiritual discipline.
  • We need to see and admit the truths about ourselves and our role in creating our own problems.
  • Make a conscious commitment to learn from life’s experiences.  Life is a learning experience – every situation, challenge, relationship has a message or a teaching.
  • Think of yourself as an energy being as well as a physical being.   The energy part of yourself records all your thoughts and interactions – your biography becomes your biology.
  • Talking does not heal; taking action does.
  • Live congruently – live what you believe.
  • Positive energy works more effectively than negative energy in every situation.
  • Endurance awakens when we accept life as it is.
    • “Habit is a hell to which people cling in an attempt to stop the flow of change.”
    • So long as we use comfort and security as our criteria of success, we will fear our own intuitive guidance because it directs us into new cycles of learning.
  • Being supportive and non-judgmental creates a channel within us for Divine energy.
    • Our task is to master our inner responses.
  • Managing the power of choice is the essence of the human experience
    • “Every choice that enhances our spirit strengthens our energy field; and the stronger our energy field, the fewer our connections to negative people and experiences.”
  • Faith > Fear
  • Creativity > Repetition

So that’s my goal – to work on all that.  No biggie.  😊

I hope you get a little hit of creativity, wonder, and something beautiful and unexplainable today!  Here’s a little sketch I did to break out of repetition and into creativity – 10 mins of playing. <3


Ways to work with me

  • You can book a bodywork session here.
  • You can book a free Wellbeing Coaching consultation here.  I am offering a 6-session coaching package for $240.  You can read testimonials here.

 
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Awakening, Coaching, craniosacral therapy, Health & Fitness, Mindset, Productivity

On Taking a Break

heather

Doh!  I knew that I was MIA for a while, but I just realized that I haven’t posted in two months!  Wow.  Why is this the case, you might ask?
 
Well, let’s see.  November was a super busy month in my practice (YAY!) – all sorts of interesting stuff happening with CranioSacral and Visceral Manipulation.  And then we had lots of company over Thanksgiving (another YAY and also I needed lots of recovery time).  And then it was December, and I honestly didn’t feel like doing a damn thing.  Well, a damn thing outside of eating and drinking and watching Friends.  I’m still in that space a bit, but I’m seeing glimmers of motivation – thus, the letter you are reading now.
 
I am also in the middle of another training course (another course, of course!).  The training is called Organic Intelligence (OI), and I’m learning more deeply about the natural rhythms of our biology.  We are learning how to recognize the natural ups and downs we experience and how to help clients spend more time in the down stroke phase as a way of increasing nervous system capacity.  I’m about 8 weeks in, so I know enough to know that I don’t really know much.  BUT what I do know is that we are cyclical in almost ALL the ways:
 
For every up, there’s a down.
For every hot, there’s a cold.
For every red, there’s a blue.
For every black, there’s a white.
For every pain, there is a pleasure.

It’s just how the world works – everything has its complementarity. One cannot exist without the other.  But we are conditioned to focus mostly on the negative side, so consciously spending more time noticing the positive side can help us restore balance and integration.
 
So I’m in a rest period from a more active period (which may be the past few months or the past 47 years – I’m not sure yet).  My brain needs to lie fallow for a bit to let some new, fresh stuff start to germinate.
 
And this gets me back to a theme I’ve written about before – what if everything is happening the way it’s supposed to happen, and we can actually quit trying so damn hard and instead focus on enjoying life and spending time with the people who thrill us?  What if the purpose of life is to actually f-cking enjoy it?? 
 
This reminds me of an podcast I listened to with Oliver Burkeman (author of 4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals).  He was relating a story to the host, wherein a friend came into town unexpectedly, and Oliver met him for lunch and then did a hike.  The whole time he was hanging out with his friend, he was wishing that he had the kind of life where he could, spur of the moment, take time off work and go out to lunch and go on a hike with a friend.  And then he was like, “Hold on!  Wait a minute.  I DO have that kind of lifestyle, and I’m living it right now!”  But we forget to be present!  We get stuck in the striving and the wanting, and the believing that THERE will be better than HERE, and end up spending so much of our lives not appreciating what we have in the moment.
 
So in 2025, I am orienting to more connection with the people I love, more fun, more biking on my sweet Surly, more honest conversations, more creating (writing/drawing), more action on the things that really matter.  If you want to follow my explorations in drawing, biking, traveling, etc., you can find me on Instagram at @space2bhuman.  


 
If you were to orient to pleasure, what would that look like for you?  I would love to hear from you!  
 
Take care,
 
Heather
 
Ways to work with me

  • You can book a bodywork session here (prices currently range from $85-$115, and will be increasing by $15 on 2/15/25).
  • You can book a free Wellbeing Coaching consultation here.  I am offering a 6-session coaching package for $240.  You can read testimonials here.
  • What other services/classes/workshops would you love to explore?  Tell me what you want, what you really really want!

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Awakening, craniosacral therapy, Meditation

The Layer Cake of Being Human

heather
It’s Great British Baking Show season!  Tasty layers of sponge, buttercream frosting, and jam are on my mind!  Layers just make everything better – they add interest, intrigue, variety, flexibility.  In our physical body, our layers allow differential movement – our layers and the grease between those layers allow us to bend, stroll through the world, and dance in beautiful spirals and loops. 
 
But layers are not only found WITHIN our physical body – we actually have layers outside of our skin as well – at least according to some ancient schools of thought.  And I tend to believe these ancient schools, because they actually had the time and focus to spend on noticing such subtleties. 
 
I recently took an online class called Awakening Your Sensory Signature that provided insights into our energetic structure.  To be honest, I found the class a little outside of my belief comfort zone – part of me was like, “Wow – this is amazing, and I am so much more open to my creative possibilities!”  and part of me was like, “Whaaaaaaaat???  If I hear the phrase “love and light” one more time, I’m going to explode.”  The net of it is, though, that I found the whole philosophy super intriguing, and since I’ve actually been able to FEEL one of these layers, I kinda believe it’s real! (more on that later).
 
Here is the Light Body anatomy as presented in the class (each layer corresponds to a specific chakra):

Etheric Body Layer – associated with physical form.  1-2” from skin.
Root – Safety, security, grounded, stable.  Red.

Emotional – bridge between mind and physical body, connected to feelings and emotions.  3” from skin.
Sacral – Creativity, passions, desires, emotional well-being. Orange.

Mental – cognitive processes, thoughts, state of mind. 8” from skin.
Solar Plexus – Personal will, self-confidence, sense of self.  Yellow.

Astral – where we create and maintain astral cords/connections with others. 12” from skin.
Heart – love, compassion, empathy, emotional healing.  Green.

Etheric Template – energetic blueprint of your physical form.  Reflects how well our outward expression aligns with your true self.  14-18” from skin.
Throat – speech, authentic vocal expression, communication.  Blue.

Celestial Body – connection to Divine and unconditional love. 24-30+” from skin
Third Eye – Intuitive intelligence, inner insight.  Indigo.

Etheric-Causal Body – holds the essence of your soul’s journey and spiritual evolution. 2-3 ‘ from the skin.
Crown – Oneness, unity, enlightenment.  Violet & white.



If you are familiar with yoga philosophy, you will notice some similarities with the 5 layers of the Kosha model:
Annamaya Kosha – Physical body/food body
Pranamaya Kosha – Energy body (breath, aura)
Manomaya Kosha – Mind
Vigyanamaya Kosha – Wise mind/unconscious mind
Anandamaya Kosha – Bliss body

In the class, Debbie Rosas (the course creator) provides practices to help tune in to and work with these various layers and chakras.  The practices including meditation, journaling, free movement, visualizations, creating art.  Despite my desire to be more embodied, I still default to being more in my head, so while I read all the class materials, I didn’t participate in many of the physical practices.  Oddly enough, I felt self-conscious doing most of them even though I was home alone with no one looking at me!  I still felt silly.  Hmmmm.  How interesting.
 
AND, I did get a lot out of the little that I did do.  My mind was opened further to the possibilities of us not being just flesh and bone.  We have these LAYERS, man! 
 
Synchronistically, while in the middle of this 7-week class, I was working with a bodywork mentor of mine, and as we were treating a client, my mentor identified the need to work with the client’s emotional field.  With his guidance, I was able to feel this subtle field around the client’s body and noted an area where I was almost “pushed off,” which was the area to treat.  I guess I first encountered this field when I was at the Barral Visceral Listening class.  In the Barral methodology, your assessment is called “Listening.”  You put your hand on top of the client’s head, and tune in to the general area of the body with the greatest “pull.”  (This may sound pretty woo, but there is science to support the fact that our hands are drawn to the area where things are not flowing well!).  Well, I was doing this with the Teacher Assistant, and as I lowered my hand down towards his head, he almost fell over.  He told me that when I lowered my hand down so slowly, I touched his emotional field, which threw him off center!  

I thought it was fascinating that as I’m learning about all these subtle fields in one area of my education, in a completely different, unrelated area, the same concepts come up in a different way. It’s so curious how these threads are woven through the tapestry of our experience! 
 
ANYWAY!  If any of this piques your interest, I direct you to Debbie Rosas, who is teacher of this work.  And if you think all of this is pretty far out and unbelievable, well that is OK too!  I think we are all where we are supposed to be in our understanding of ourselves at this moment in time.
 
What do you think?  Do you think we are just flesh and blood and bones?  Or do you think we are spirit and light and energy as well?
 
Take care,
 
Heather
 
P.S.  So…..I started another coaching program.  It’s called Organic Intelligence.  It teaches us how we can feel better without feeling worse first.  I am two weeks in, and I am loving it so far.  More to come, as I learn this work over the next year.

Ways to work with me
– You can book a bodywork session here (prices range from $115 to $85).
– You can book a free Wellbeing Coaching consultation here.  I am offering a 6-session coaching package for $240.  You can read testimonials here.
– You can sign up for my $5 weekly 15 meditation/movement class here.

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If you would like to get these posts sent to you directly, please click here.
Uncategorized

These are a Few of My Favorite Things

heather

I write a lot about what ails us and potential ways to address those ailments.  But today is different. Instead of focusing on what is wrong and how to improve it, I’m going pursue straight-up enjoyment and write y’all a big long list of things that I love to use and places I love to visit.  Life IS all about balance, right??  And I’m writing this on a Friday instead of a Sunday just ‘cause that sounded like fun too!
 


OFFICE SUPPLIES
I have had a penchant for office supplies since I was a wee tyke!  I could not get enough 5-subject notebooks, Trapper Keepers, journals, diaries, crayons, and those pens that had multiple colors of ink in them.  SO COOL.  Here are my current loves:
 
Papermate Flair Pens:  They write beautifully, come in approximately a zillion colors, and are great for making my Planner look pretty (I also love alliteration, but that won’t get its own bullet point). 
 
While most of these links go to Amazon (because it’s easy, and I’m all about easy today), I love this pen supply store:  JetPens.  They offer different pen collections by pen type, pen color, etc.  Super neat and dangerous site.
 
Passion Planner:  I’ve used a bunch of different planners (Panda Planner, Best Self, Bullet Journal), and this is my favorite.  I love the weekly and monthly planning and recap spaces, the weekly personal to-do list and work to-do lists, and the area for “Space of Infinite Possibility.”  I have a heartfelt connection to this planner – that is how much I treasure it.
 
Sharpie S-Gel Pens:  These write so nicely and look super classy. You can also get refills so you don’t have to toss them when they are empty (which is a downside of the Papermate Flairs).
 
Lamy Safari Fountain Pen:  I am on my 4th Lamy Safari.  Huehue, who loves to destroy things I love, crunched up my purple and whites pens, my black one started to leak a bit after 13 years, and now I’m on a Pina Colada version that is super fun (it’s light blue & yellow).
 
Moleskine Notebooks:  These are my favorite journals. I prefer the Limited Edition ones, which I used to be able to find at cheap prices on Amazon (stupid inflation).  I like both lined and unlined (good for adding drawings to your journaling).  They are the perfect size and hold up well to being carted around.
 
CLOTHING
Darn Tough Socks:  These socks have neat designs, feel great on your feet, and come with a lifetime warranty.  Heuhue ate the top of one of them, and Darn Tough sent me a free replacement pair!
 
Boody underwear:  Made from bamboo – super comfortable, breathable, and soft.  It’s my bedtime underwear.  What??  You don’t wear different underwear to bed??
 
MISC.
Cactus leather iPhone case:  I love the look and feel of this case. It makes my iPhone feel more earthy and touchable. 😛
 
LOCAL GOODS/SERVICES/LOCATIONS
Dots Pots mugs:  These are our favorite tea mugs. If you’ve never checked out her shop in Moline, do so immediatly!  There are lots of one-of-a-kind treasures in there.  Dot, in and of herself, is a one-of-a-kind treasure!
 
Davenport Acupuncture:  When I am feeling overwhelmed by life, or if something is just feeling weird in my body and Spirit, I go to Blair.  I spend 90 minutes, melting onto her table, listening to the music, feeling the light, and knowing that her needles and bodywork will provide the reset that I need.  She is one of the best humans I know.
 
Motherhood Matters/Breath, Core, Pelvic Floor class: I love health practitioners who are passionate about what they do and who offer unique, educational classes and workshops here in the QC.  This class is happening next Saturday, 9/14!
 
Rudy’s Tacos in the East Village:  We live about 5 minutes away from this Rudy’s, and it’s one of our favorite places.  You can get 3 tasty beef & bean tacos for less than $10, the service is quick and consistent, and they make a mean tequila & soda.  Fast, easy, good service, tasty, inexpensive – it’s our go-to place when we need to get out of the house.
 
Kimberly Pierce Jewelry:  I discovered Kim ages ago – probably 10 years ago already – when I ran across a pop-up she was doing at Java Java. I was immediately smitten with her style – simple, elegant, and classy.  Over the years, I’ve amassed a collection of her earrings, necklaces, and a ring, and I often order from her for gifts.  She packages the items beautifully and ships quickly. 
 
Natural Grocers:  If it’s wrong to have affection for a grocery store, I don’t want to be right!  We have certain staples we pick up there regularly – eggs, Beelers sausage, walnuts, prunes, white sweet potatoes, etc.  And then we stock up when they have sales on beef sticks, chips, Siete tortillas, kombucha, etc.  They have some bonkers amazing sales.  And the company has also sent us free gifts randomly!  We got a scarf one year, and a string satchel last year.  Their monthly ad has tons of great recipes and good info on nutrition and wellness.
 
I suppose that’s enough for now.   Thanks for letting me share some of my favorite things with you!  If you read this, and are like, “Oh man, Heather would totally LOVE this thing/place/person,” please respond to this email!
 
Hope you’re having an excellent Friday and can get outside and enjoy the amazing weather this weekend.
 
Take care!
 
Heather
 
Space to be Human Lab
Let’s see what a dash of slowing down, a pinch of a warm cozy table, a spritz of laughter, and a big spoonful of deep listening can do for your worn-out body, mind, and spirit!

  • You can book a bodywork session here (prices range from $115 to $85)
  • You can book a free Wellbeing Coaching consultation here.  I am offering a 6-session coaching package for $240.  You can read testimonials here.
  • You can sign up for my $5 weekly 15 meditation/movement class here.

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If you would like to get these posts sent to you directly, please click here.

Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Meditation, Mindset, Trauma

What Am I Really Getting From This?

heather

Romans 7:19: “For I do not do the good that I wish, but the bad that I do not wish is what I practice.”
 
The scripture above is one that pops into my head with regularity.  I guess because it’s a situation in which I often find myself.  I WANT to do “good” (e.g. eat healthy, meditate, take action on my goals, etc.), but what is “evil” is what I do (“evil” being relative, you understand)!  I eat potato chips and sardines for lunch because making a salad seems like too much work.  I forsake meditation, with the intention of really getting back on track tomorrow.  I make lists of tasks to elevate myself and my business, and each morning, I put a < next to most of them and move them to a mythical date in the future where motivation and time will mix in a magical brew, and I’ll GET SHIT DONE. 
 
Evidently I am not alone in this whole “doing evil when I want to do good” conundrum.
 
I’m currently reading “Unwinding Anxiety:  New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind,” and I’m reminded that I’m not a flawed human. I’m just human.  And humans repeatedly do what they are rewarded to do.  At some point in the past 47 years, my brain got rewarded for eating chips (YUM!  Let’s do that again!) and procrastinating (if we DON’T do that thing, then we don’t go through the pain of doing something hard!).  So my brain keeps doing that out of habit.  We are creatures who seek pleasure, avoid pain, and do so as efficiently as possible.
 
As I ponder what to write next, I notice a twinge of hunger.  Maybe I should go get a snack, and come back to this when I’m ready!!
 
Ha!  I caught myself!
 
And that, my friends, is what this book is all about.  The book is about creating awareness around habits and then giving the brain a BBO (bigger better offer).
 
Here’s the process for changing habits, as laid out in the book:
 
Step 1:  Map Your Mind
Write down the triggers, behaviors, and results you get from the behavior.  By doing this, you can start to unravel the mystery of you and build awareness around how your mind works. Here’s a couple of examples from the book:
 
Trigger: Anxiety in the morning from seeing how much work needs to be done
Behavior:  Procrastination
Result/Reward:  Avoidance. which feels more rewarding than the anxiety
 
Trigger:  Anxiety in the late afternoon
Behavior:  Start drinking
Reward:  Numbing, forgetting, feeling intoxicated
 
Step 2: Update the Reward Value
This involves helping your brain become aware of the REAL reward of a behavior. It might be operating based on old information!  To do this, we bring awareness to our habits and pause and notice what the results of the behavior FEEL like in our body.  In the book, Dr. Brewer uses the example of one of my favorite things – eating chips whilst watching TV.
 
Trigger:  Time of day
Behavior:  Mindlessly eat chips
Result:  Hmm – how did those chips taste? I wasn’t even paying attention.
 
Our brain “sets and forgets” reward values.  When I first tasted chips, I’m sure I got a huge dopamine squirt.  Not only were they super tasty, but my first memory of eating chips is woven into a treasured memory:
 
My Dad is sitting in his easy chair in the living room of our old farmhouse, a can of King Oscar sardines covered in salt & pepper and a bag of Lays by his side.  As my brothers and I intently watch every movement of his hands, he fishes out a big, perfect chip, lays a skinny salty peppery sardine dripping with oil on to the chip, and then doles one out to each of us.  He shared his precious snack with us! It was fun. It was tasty.  It made me feel loved.  No wonder my brain attaches a HUGE reward value to chips.
 
BUT, when I pause and actually notice in PRESENT TIME rewards for chips, that same reward value is not there.  What am I actually getting from chips TODAY?  Some tastiness, sure, but also a lot of calories without much nutrition.
 
Paying attention and bringing curiosity to what is actually happening NOW, can help us become disenchanted with habits.
 
Step 3:  Finding a Bigger Better Offer
After becoming disenchanted with the results of the old behavior, we need to provide our brain with a behavior that is more satisfying than the old habit.  This new behavior is mindful curiosity – observing with kind, compassionate attention the thoughts, emotions, and sensations that arise when we encounter those original triggers.  For example:
 
Trigger:  Time of day/urge to eat chips.
Behavior:  Relax into the sensation of wanting to eat chips.  Where does that sensation live in my body?  What happens as I allow it to be there?  Does it move?  How would I describe it.  Hmmm – what’s happening to it now?
Reward:  I feel curiosity, an expansive feeling.  The urge passes, as I notice it is nothing but a wave of thought, emotion, and sensation. I ride the wave instead of being swept away by it.
 
There are many more tools in the book, but those 3 steps form the foundation.  I find it so interesting that “mindfulness” keeps popping as the secret for helping us live our truest path. Maybe there is something to this mindfulness stuff…
 
I am curious to see how awareness and curiosity can help me unwind habits and do more of the “good” that I want to do. What do you think?  Does this approach make sense to you? 
 
Here is an 11 minute guided meditation to help explore curiosity:
https://us02web.zoom.us/rec/share/mIbYoPRfCTySsFwLPK5YKhxwWkdV0i9k51eptwyzVQNWNNc8ux5QNc8IKkYFj5eH.OUGosahnM378xnkJ
Passcode: k34AVt?x
 
I hope you have a bonkers good day today!
 
Love,
 
Heather 
 
Space to be Human Lab
Do you want to deepen your awareness of habits of mind and body, but you struggle making the time and space for it?  We can partner together to help you open up space for something new to happen!

  • You can book a bodywork session here (prices range from $115 to $85).
  • You can book a free Wellbeing Coaching consultation here.  I am offering a 6-session coaching package for $240.  You can read testimonials here.
  • You can sign up for my $5 weekly 15 meditation/movement class here.

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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Meditation, Mindset, Paleo, Trauma

The Comfort Crisis

heather

TLDR Summary:  The comforts of modern life are robbing us of many of the things that make life good. But sometimes we need MORE comfort in order to thrive.  Humaning seems always to be both/and.
 
As I lounge in my super-sized, comfy camping chair on my back deck, an ice-cold beverage by my side, a belly full of sushi, a box fan blowing gently on my legs to keep the bugs away, I feel a little hypocritical, because I intend to write about how our comfortable lives are killing us. 
 
But….I’m going to go ahead and write about it anyway.  Maybe someday I will reread this and get the boost I need to go out there and do the uncomfortable thing that I am procrastinating on because, “I don’t FEEEEEEL like it.” I hope you can pick up the whine inherent in my mental voice as I say that.
 
So here goes!
 
I just finished The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter.  It is a fabulous book.  He blends a riveting story about hunting caribou in the Alaskan tundra with a heavy dose of science about how our modern lives, in many ways, are robbing us of the stuff we need to be happy.
 
Come to find out, humans need challenges in order to thrive.  We need to test our limits.  We need to push PAST the limits our brains tell us we have to discover our ACTUAL limits.  We need to be in nature A LOT.  We need to move our bodies A LOT.  Here’s a few other tidbits I picked up from the book:

  • It’s OK to be hungry (I write this as I eat a bowl of sour cream and onion potato chips).
  • We need to embrace the suck to thrive.
  • We’re getting done in by ourselves and the tales we tell ourselves.
  • We need to contemplate our own death to appreciate life (and to decrease regrets at the end of life).
    • Death is coming, but we can take the scenic route and notice the beauty of the path.
    • This leads us to question, “What life do I WANT to live??”
  • Holding on to that which is changing (e.g. EVERYTHING in life) only causes suffering.
  • Humans are born to carry heavy things over long distances.
  • Do hard things and the rest of life gets easier and you appreciate it all the more.
  • Outdoor physical activity with other people is FOUNDATIONAL to being human.
  • We need NOVEL experiences to decelerate our experience of time.
  • We need to THINK less and NOTICE more.
  • We need more connection, silence, and solitude, less screen time, more listening.

I’ve been ruminating on the messages in this book quite a bit.  As you may know, I am in Somatic Experiencing Trauma Resolution training.  A lot of our training revolves around encouraging people to tune in to their resources – to the things that support them and make them feel comfortable and at ease.  Even though our modern lives are steeped in a lot more comfort than they were historically, in many ways, we lack attunement to what we really need to relax, be at ease, give our bodies the time and space they need to heal – and that is even more true when we’ve experienced trauma.  In SE, we encourage clients to turn toward this and build the capacity to notice what would make us more comfortable and at ease.

So…. Do we need MORE comfort or LESS comfort?

I think the only answer is, Yes. 

For me at least, I need more discomfort in my daily rituals. I need to experience hunger (and not treat it like an emergency). I need to not be at a constant 72 degrees.  I need to push my body and my mind to help them get stronger and more resilient.  When I get closer to my edges, I feel more alive and more capable. I build my confidence that, “Yeah! I can handle this!”

AND when it’s time to rest, regenerate, and rebuild, I need to honor that. I need to carve out space for undisturbed silence.  I need to take a break when my shoulder is killing me from micromoving my mouse all morning long.  I need to allow myself to go pee even though I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO!! 

That’s where I’ve landed. I need more discomfort and more comfort – just in different areas and different times of my life.  What do you think?  Do you think we are in a Comfort Crisis?

In an effort to push myself into my discomfort zone today I tried a little rucking.  Initially I did a short 2 block walk with a 27 lb paver stone.  TOO HEAVY!!  I traded it for a 7ish lb dictionary which was a bit TOO LIGHT, but I took it out for a 3-mile spin and enjoyed the feeling of doing something novel that could help me get stronger and more resilient.

In my Wednesday Reset weekly meditation/movement class we’ll exploring both sides of the coin – some weeks we’ll go to our edge and other weeks we will bring ALL the cushions and pillows and yum.

  • Here is a sample of one of the Yum classes.
  • Here’s the link to sign up, if you want to join me for a class sometime. 
  • Class is held on Wednesdays over Zoom from 12:45PM-1PM, and the cost is $5 (no class on 7/24 due to travel).

I hope you have the Sunday that you need today!

Love,

Heather

Space to be Human Lab
Do you want to feel a little bit more at home in your body? Here are a few options that can help!

  • You can book a bodywork session here (prices range from $115 to $85).
  • You can book a free Wellbeing Coaching consultation here.  I am offering a 6-session coaching package for $240.  You can read testimonials here.
  • You can sign up for my $5 weekly 15 meditation/movement class here.

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If you would like to get these posts sent to you directly, please click here.

Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Meditation, Mindset

A Practice Life (no do-overs!)

heather

TL:DR:  I went on a hike. I learned I’m living life like it’s a practice run.  And I’m offering a new weekly meditation class.
 
As you may remember from my last letter, in May I did a 5-day silent meditation retreat at Spirit Rock in Marin County, California.  The retreat center is in gorgeous mountains just north of San Francisco, and the center is encircled by several miles of trails.
 
I love to hike, and I really wanted to check out the trails, but I am a fairly cautious, risk-adverse person.  I was put off by the posted warnings about ticks, snakes, mountain lions, etc. as well as by the fact that due to the silent nature of the retreat, I would need to do the hike alone.  Yet, this trip was about pushing me out of my comfort zone, and I was determined to take full advantage of what this beautiful place had to offer.
 
I got my feet wet by doing a short little 1-mile loop – the Two Arrows Trail. It was a beautiful little hike, and I survived unscathed.  YAY!
 
My confidence bolstered by a few more short loops, by Tuesday, I set my sights on the Great Loop trail.  This trail takes you up into the mountains behind the retreat center – into the wild.  It’s only 3 miles, but I was told it would take about 2 hours, due to the amount of climbing involved.  At the entrance to the trail, I paused to spray down my shoes, socks, and shoulders with anti-tick spray, and two fellow retreatants headed up the trail in front of me.  As I struck out after them, I realized that, while the person in front of me was obviously out for a long hike, the lead person was doing THE SLOWEST POSSIBLE WALKING MEDITATION EVER.  Lift foot, raise knee, lower foot, raise opposite foot, lift knee, lower foot.  SO SLOW.  He, for sure, had to notice the two women behind him chomping at the bit to get on up the trail.  And he completely ignored us.  We could, conceivably, go around him on the path, but… ticks.  And also – it felt rude to rush past someone who was meditating.
 
We both walked oh so slowly behind him, frustration levels building.  And also, I was trying to use this experience as a mindfulness exercise.  “Oh, I’m annoyed at how self-centered this guy is being. How interesting!  Or, am I the one that is being self-centered by assuming he should defer to my desire for speed?  How interesting!”
 
Eventually the fellow turned off onto a different path, and the girl in front of me and I struck off into the hills.  I don’t think she liked the sensation of me being so close on her heels, because she wandered off the path toward a lookout, and then my hike began in earnest.
 
I worked my way through some close brush that surrounded the path, and as I did so, I heard some rustling in the bushes.  I felt better NOT knowing what that rustling was, so I powered on without checking to see what was making those alarming noises. 
 
Eventually I passed the tree line and entered onto the sunbaked slope above, following steep switch-backs that took me to the very crest of the hill.  By the time I got to the top, my heart was beating out of my chest, I was insanely hot, and I was 100% alone.  The other girl was nowhere to be seen. It was just me, the sun, the grass, and the heat – my god the heat!
 
I contemplated turning around and going back down, afraid that the heat and sun and exertion would make me pass out and no one would find me until my bones were stripped clean by the coyotes.  I drank some water, let my breath and heart settle and decided to keep moving forward.
 
As I crested another one of the hills, in the distance I could see one of the bridges of San Francisco!  So beautiful!  But I didn’t stop to really enjoy the view.  In fact, I really didn’t pause AT ALL on the hike.  My main goal was to get the trail done as quickly as possible, not die, and prove to myself that I could do it.  And then, maybe, if I had time later in the week, I could do the hike again and actually ENJOY IT.  Once I knew that I could safely navigate the hike, then on the 2nd time through, I could pause, relish the sights and sounds, enjoy the feeling of exerting myself, enjoy being away from civilization for some precious moments.
 
As I started the downhill portion of the hike, I had a flash of insight.
 
I LIVE MY LIFE AS IF IT’S A PRACTICE RUN – BELIEVING THAT ONCE I KNOW I WILL BE OKAY, THEN I CAN GO BACK THROUGH IT THE SECOND TIME AND ACTUALLY ENJOY IT.
 
Oh boy.  What a fallacious belief.  While I believe that reincarnation is possible and probably likely, I am certain that I will never be Heather again.  I get just this ONE shot to live THIS life – to enjoy this life – to be ALIVE in this life.  How can I embody that realization, that TRUTH, instead of just holding it as an interesting thought?
 
I’m trying to figure that out. think it means numbing less, feeling more, pushing out of my comfort zone, pausing more, appreciating more, fearing less, worrying less, trusting more, loving more, hurting more, learning what is a Yes for me and following it even if it’s scary.
 
What does it mean to you to be ALIVE in this life?  What makes you feel alive?  What uplifts you?  What makes you feel expansive?  What arouses “terrible longing” in you?  (I’m not sure where I ran across that phrase, but it STUCK in my psyche as something that’s important).
 
That’s what I’ll be pondering this weekend. If you care to share your insights on these questions, I would love to hear them. <3
 
If you want to join me on this quest to live more fully, I have an invitation for you!
 
Many of us are stressed, overwhelmed, and burned out (burnt out??). And sometimes we are so stressed and overwhelmed, that we can’t even figure out where to start to begin to feel like a human BEING again.  There are SO MANY little things that we can do to help our systems start to relax, slow down, and reboot. And these things don’t have to take much time. Two minutes of intentional breathing can be all it takes!
 
In that vein, I am offering a weekly online class, Wednesday Reset. It’s only 15 minutes. We’ll meet from 12:45PM-1PM, so hopefully you can squeeze it in over your lunch hour. It’s $5. We’ll explore meditation, movement, breathwork, and mindset work in little, bite-size integrationable (I really think that should be a word) chunks. It will be fun, fascinating, and freeing (my 4th grade English teacher would be so proud of my use of alliteration there). (I love parentheses).
 
Here’s the link, if you want to join me!
 
Love,
 
Heather
 
Space to be Human Lab
Do you want to feel a little bit more at home in your body? Here are a few options that can help!

  • You can book a bodywork session here (prices range from $115 to $85).
  • You can book a free Wellbeing Coaching consultation here.  I am offering a 6-session coaching package for $240.  You can read testimonials here.
  • You can sign up for my $5 weekly 15 meditation/movement class here. 

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If you would like to sign to get these letters sent to you directly, please click here.

Awakening, Coaching, craniosacral therapy, Health & Fitness, Meditation, Mindset

The Attention Reclamation Project

heather

Well hello there!  My apologies for being MIA for the past couple of months.  May was bonkers, which I’ll get to later, and I just cannot remember April for the life of me.  So.  There you go.  Life gets weird and fast as you get older.
 
Now on to May! 
 
In May I did something new – something I’ve never done before but have wanted to do for 10+ years – I attended a 5-day silent meditation retreat.  The retreat was held in gorgeous mountains just north of San Francisco at a place called Spirit Rock. 


For 5 days, my life consisted of waking up, meditating (either seated or walking), eating, not talking to anyone, more meditating, more walking, vacuuming a resident hall, meditating, walking, eating, listening to talks from very wise and honest teachers, chanting, sleeping.

  • 5 days of slowing down
  • 5 days of watching the machinations of my brain
  • 5 days of being surrounded by 100 other people who are also trying to figure themselves and the world out
  • 5 days of silence
  • 5 days of being outside for several hours a day
  • 5 days of actually SEEING with my eyes, FEELING with my heart, being IN my body/being my body
  • 5 days of living simply – no books, no TV, no mindless distractions

This gave me a glance into a different way to live. Yes, I have to work.  Yes, I need to communicate with other people.  Yes, I do need to live IN the world. I can’t stay on a gorgeous mountain-top in California forever and still be true to my other values

AND

I can invite more slowing down and simplicity into my “normal” life.  I can JUST DO ONE THING at a time.  I found that eating my morning oatmeal, when that is the ONLY thing I am doing, is a whole different experience. I get fuller faster. I feel gratitude for heartiness of it and the work of the cooks and volunteers who prepared it for me. 

I can bring mindful awareness into my daily life – watching my thoughts and CHOOSING which ones to follow, which ones to believe.  One of the teachers mentioned that our minds secrete thoughts, just like the pancreas secretes insulin. It’s just what the mind does.  It doesn’t mean I have to believe those secretions. I can just watch them.

I can be more careful in my speech.  Not being able to talk for 5 days helped me realize how many meaningless things I have an impulse to say (and usually just blurt out).  But on Retreat, I noticed the impulse to speak, realized that no one really NEEDED to hear my insightful commentary about the chilliness of the morning, and let the thought pass unvoiced. 

I can bring compassion to my own thoughts, feelings, and sensations, and I can hold space for others to explore their thoughts, feelings, sensations.  There is magic in compassionate curiosity – I wonder why I think that….  Of course I would think that…

I can keep remembering:

  • Life is not a problem to be solved.
  • When I am snagged by the thought stream, I am often fantasizing/planning, problem-solving for some future event that may never happen. I AM LIVING AN IMAGINARY LIFE.
  • We are not meant to SURVIVE.  We are meant to LIVE.
  • I can let go of the ILLUSION of control.
  • “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” Dalai Lama
  • Even when I feel as if my meditation is a failure (e.g. I just cannot stay focused on my anchor), I know that with this practice, I am planting a seed of awareness that definitely will sprout in the right timing.
  • I am happier and feel better when I am outside A LOT.  Without my phone. Noticing things. Appreciating the beauty of nature.  Just BEING instead of DOING.
  • I can quit pushing and striving so much, and trust that things will work out.

There is so much more I could say and will say in future letters, but I am also trying to practice the lesson of “less is more.”

I hope you can create some space for some consciously lived moments today – even for just one breath in and one breath out – and notice that sense of freedom that comes from being right here in this moment, mind, body, and spirit united.

Love,

Heather

Space to be Human Lab
Do you want to open up space in your life for new possibilities to arise?  Both bodywork and wellbeing can help you regain your life’s energy.

  • You can book a bodywork session here.
  • Wellbeing Coaching helps you reconnect with your Self, your needs, and your strengths, opening up new possibilities.  If you would like to hear how coaching has helped my clients attune to who they really are, you can read testimonials here.
    • You can book a free consultation here.  For a limited time, I am offering a 6-session coaching package for $240.

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Awakening, Coaching, craniosacral therapy, Habit Change, Massage Therapy, Pain, Trauma

Every little thing gonna be alright

heather

I’ve really been struggling with meditation lately.  I have a bad case of the “I’ll do it laters,” and then I often don’t end up doing it at all.  But last week I convinced myself to go sit down for just 10 minutes and be with myself.  I settled in, using a mantra to anchor my attention, “I am breathing in.  I am breathing out.”  Once I got settled (and convinced Huehue to leave me alone), I put one hand on my heart and posed a question, “What do you want me to know?” 


 
I should preface this by saying that asking the heart what it wants to say is a practice I’ve learned from Dr. Betsy Rippentrop.  I’ve tried it plenty of times, but I am usually met with total crickets.  I was beginning to believe that this concept of the heart actually communicating to me is a myth.  However, I just returned from 3 days of a deep dive into the Listening assessment technique taught by the Barral Institute, and what I learned there is that the more I can relax and let go of the anxiety about “doing it right,” the more I can actually feel.  I brought that same Listening quality of diffuse attention and unbiased invitation to the questioning of my heart.
 
This time something different happened.
 
This time I heard a little soft voice say, “Everything is gonna be alright.”
 
And I got choked up.
 
Everything’s gonna be alright.
 
That’s it. That’s all I needed to hear.
 
Everything’s gonna be alright.
 
I spent the rest of the day singing Bob Marley and aching to go to Jamaica again. 
 
I was blown away by the impact of slowing down, giving my inner Self a quiet moment to speak.  These moments are so blessed, so beautiful, and too rare.  And they are only too rare because I still struggle to prioritize taking time to allow them to happen.
 
If you struggle to hold space for yourself, as I do, here are a few tidbits that might help.

  1. Increase awareness by tracking behaviors.  I borrowed a daily Habits Tracker from Mr. Money Mustache, and I’ve been tracking about 5 habits that I want to do daily. If I do that thing, I get a beautiful X in the box. If I don’t, it remains empty and unfulfilled.  Tracking helps celebrate success and highlights opportunities to do better.  If you want a copy of the tracker, respond to this email.
  2. Tune in to your Why.  Why is this habit important to you?  When I remind myself that I am a better therapist, better teacher, and more chill human when I meditate, then I actually TAKE ACTION (instead of procrastinate), and go into the room, sit on my cushion, and meditate. 
  3. Work with someone who can hold space for you to slow down and listen to yourself.  This is the heart of all the services I offer to my clients – let’s slow down and open up space for something new to happen!  I have a hearty list of other practitioners who are excellent holders of space as well.  Let me know if you need help finding someone who plugs into your energy well. 

With that, I’ll leave you to your Sunday.  And remember:

Don’t worry….about a thing… cause every little thing gonna be alright.

With love,

Heather

Space to be Human Lab
Here is how you can work with me:

  • Bodywork:  Do you want to feel more ease and softness in your bodymind and feel more connected to your life energy?  In these sessions we partner together to listen to what your body needs and then provide it with the space and stimulus it needs to heal.  You can book a session here.
  • Coaching helps you reconnect with your Self, your needs, and your strengths – opening you up to new possibilities.  My client, Brea, said it so well:
    • “Sometimes you need the reminder to pause, to breath, to explore and how to hold space for all of that – Heather has helped me create that space and build trust in myself.”
    • You can book a free consultation here.  Through June 30, 2024 I am offering a 6-session coaching package for $240.

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