Category: Massage Therapy

Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Mindset, Pain

Existential Crisis and Notes from Your Back

heather

Well, hello there!  It’s been a few weeks since I’ve checked in.  I’ve been occupied with finishing up my health coach certification, traveling, and having an existential crisis about buying a new car.
 
I’ll start with the last one first.
 
We bought a new car.  We were planning on getting a used car, but when we started doing research on the used-car market and interest rates, we soon determined that for about $5,000 more we could have a brand-new car with a full warranty and no sordid mysterious past.  So we chose that option.  That option, however, pushed me out of my very conservative financial comfort zone.  I was intellectually confident that we could afford a new car, but my visceral response to the purchase said otherwise.  I was ANXIOUS and racked with self-doubt.  Did we do the right thing?  Should we have negotiated better?  I’m almost 50 years old, why can’t I be more articulate and forceful with my needs and expectations?  What happens if one of us loses our job?  Will people think I’m getting too big for my britches by getting a new car?  Would Mr. Money Mustache be ashamed of me?  Why didn’t we do this better/righter/more perfectly??
 
In the middle of this whole car-buying saga, I did a session with one of my most favoritest doctors.  She is a chiropractor who does functional medicine and muscle testing/energy work where she communicates with my body on a subconscious level.  I don’t understand it; all I know is that her treatments always make me feel SO much better.  I was working with her on hormone/digestive issues and happened to mention that I am still struggling with low back pain as well.  She said, “Huh,” and then did her magic and asked my body why my back was hurting.  And here was the answer, “You need to believe in yourself and what you are doing.” 

LIGHT BULB MOMENT – I DON’T HAVE MY OWN BACK!!  I don’t support my own decisions.  I constantly doubt myself and the steps that I take.  No wonder my back hurts.  It’s like, “Hey – Heather.  USE ME!!  RELY on me.  Notice and appreciate me!!” 
 
What is the point of questioning a decision that is already made?  The papers are signed.  The car is ours.  I can choose to keep questioning the decision and being anxious about it. 
 
OR
 
I can choose to be excited about the opportunities for travel this car opens up. I can be proud of us for choosing a car that has excellent reliability and that could easily be with us until we are 70-YEARS-OLD.  I can be proud of myself for making sh!t happen and finding a great, beautiful vehicle for us just in time for us to take our Surlys to South Dakota for an epic ride through the Black Hills.  I can choose to be the friend to myself that I need – the friend who is like, “You are so smart, Heather!  You are wise and logical.  You made a great decision for your family.  You are going to make so many good memories in this sweet, handsome Rav4.  You are fearless to commit to a purchase that is aligned with your life goals, even though it’s scary and uncomfortable.  You are bold!”
 
In others words, I can choose to have my own back.  Low back pain is very mysterious.  I heard from one of my teachers that there are over 200 known causes of low back pain, and research has proven that our thoughts and feelings can dramatically impact chronic low back pain.  If this concepts resonates with you, here are some questions you could contemplate:  How could you shift your narrative about yourself and your choices in a way that enables you to support YOU?  How can you choose to believe in yourself and your capabilities?  How can you have your own back more fully?
 
And now I’ll circle back to the first two things on my list.  I’m in the last section of my Health Coaching Certification, and hopefully by the end of July I will be a Master Certified Health & Wellness Coach.  And what does that mean??  Here is an excellent description from the National Board of Health & Wellness Coaching:
 
Health & wellness coaches partner with clients looking to enhance their well-being through self-directed lasting changes, aligned with their values. In the course of their work, health & wellness coaches display unconditional positive regard for their clients and a belief in their ability to change, honoring the fact that each client is an expert on their own life while ensuring that all interactions are respectful and non-judgmental.
 
Isn’t that a beautiful approach to change?  Essentially I will get to partner with clients – I will have their backs, and I will help them have their own backs as well!  I’m planning on rolling out a 3-month program within the next couple of months.  If you would like to improve your wellbeing with a compassionate coach who is in the trenches with you, let me know. I’ll add you to my mailing list and send out more details when my program is finalized. 😊
 
And lastly, travel.  I was able to spend the first weekend in May with my brothers, my sister-in-law, and my mesmerizing niece, Keke.  And soon Tim and I are heading out to South Dakota for a week. We’re taking the Heuheunito with us, so please wish us luck.  His favorite thing to do is to plop down on his belly in cool grass, meld with the Earth, and people-watch.  So getting him UP and HIKING can be a challenge.  Good thing he is so cute.


 
Happy Sunday My Friends, and thank you for reading!!
 
Space to be Human Lab – Helping you heal so you can feel more alive
 
Do you crave deep relaxation?  Would you appreciate help in dissipating excess energy from your frayed nervous system?  If so, I invite you to book a CranioSacral session.  If you are a returning client, and you are curious about CranioSacral, you can book a 30 minute FREE session here – just use code “CURIOUS” at checkout.  You can book other session types here. 
 
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Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Mindset

The “What If??” Game

heather

Honestly, I’m struggling a bit with what to write today.  So part of me was like, well, let’s just skip the post for today.  And then another part of me was like, Heather, you enjoy writing these, and people have told me they enjoy reading them, so just go ahead and do it!  And then another part of me was like, always doing the easy things does not a happy life make.  So I talked myself into writing.  (Side note: A client recently told me that her therapist said that not everyone has a constant stream of conversation going on their heads.  I was blown away.  This never-ending chatter and decision (or indecision) by internal committee isn’t a main feature in everyone’s brainpan??)
 
Anyway, I digress.
 
On to the subject of today’s email:  I’ve been working through the 4 Core Questions of Appreciative Coaching: 

  1. What gives life to you right now?
  2. Describe a high point or peak experience in your life or work up until now.
  3. What do you most value about yourself, your relationships, and the nature of your work?
  4. What 1 or 2 things do you want more of in your life? 

Writing out the answers to these questions was very eye-opening.  The first question led me down the What If path.  I was writing about how I absolutely LOVE my coaching class.  I love the philosophy and intent behind the methodologies they teach.  At the core of coaching is the belief that the client is the expert on herself, and my job as a coach is to support and partner with her to essentially help her realize how awesome and powerful she is.

But DAMN.  Coaching is HARD.  It involves asking a lot of questions, drawing out the client’s motivations and values, being FULLY PRESENT and listening with your whole being,  holding your tongue when you really just want to TELL them what to do (and you sense the client WANTS to be told what to do).  A coach needs to artfully help the client extract the answers for herself, while providing information in little tidbits, and then only after getting the client’s permission to do so (because the Client is in the driver’s seat).

So, coaching is hard.  And I know I’m not great at it yet.  And I know that the only way to get great at it is to practice.  But I hate doing something I’m not great at yet.  And then I’m caught in an infinite loop.

So I started playing the What If game:

  • What if I am this client’s best option to reach her goals?
  • What if it is up to ME (just like it was up to Bastian in The Never Ending Story) to do what needs to be done, no matter how unimportant or unqualified or inexperienced I think I am (or FEEL I am)?
  • What if I need to feel inadequate and do it anyway?
  • What if I saw my feelings and actually felt them instead of THINKING about them? 

This led to the I Choose game:

  • I choose strength
  • I choose clarity
  • I choose action
  • I choose energy
  • I choose joy
  • I choose challenge
  • I choose to live
  • I choose to find out what I’m made of
  • I choose long term success over short term pleasure

So much of what we think and do is a choice – whether we choose to see it that way or not is another story!
 
I choose to share that with you because our human nature is to focus on our faults instead of our strengths, and I know many of us struggle with confidence and the imposter syndrome and the belief that we are not good enough or smart enough to live as big as we would like to, or to take risks in the service of a dream.  But what if we choose to notice those thoughts and to really sense those feelings and then we decide to keep moving towards that goal anyway?  What if?  What do you Choose?

“Conscious living means becoming aware of all the choices we have and acting on them.”  (Michael Arlowski, PHd)

Space to be Human Lab – Helping you heal so you can get back to doing what you love
 
If you like the idea of getting some space from your thoughts and deep relief and support for your frayed nervous system, I invite you to book a CranioSacral session.  April is CraniosSacral Therapy Awareness Month, so I am offering 75 minute sessions for $80 (a discount of $20).  Book a 75 minute session and use code “CRANIO.”  If you are a new client, you can book here.
  
Quad City Health & Wellness Professionals Mixer
If you are a health and wellness professional, and you would like to connect with other like-minded, supportive souls, please join us at the monthly QCHWP Mixer, held the 4th Monday of every month at Crawford Brewery from 5-7.  You can find more info here, and you can register here.
 
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Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Yoga

QCHWP Is Back, Baby!!

heather

Hello My Fellow Professionals in the Healing Arts,

Crawford Brewery has graciously agreed to let us use their Mezzanine space for a monthly Quad Cities Health & Wellness Professionals Mixer!

  • We will meet from 5PM-7PM the 4th Monday of every month through October (4/24, 5/22, 6/26, 7/24, 8/28, 9/25, 10/23).
  • You can sign up for whichever mixers you would like to attend by using this link. The fee for each mixer is $10.
  • Here is a high-level agenda for the meeting: Each person will do a brief 1-3 minute introduction, a courageous volunteer will do a ~15 minute presentation (on their practice, some juicy health & wellness topic, or some amazing business-building tips, etc.), we’ll open the floor to questions, and then spend the rest of the session mixing. 🙂
  • Crawford has Trivia Night on Monday nights starting at 7, so we will disband by then, but you are welcome to pop downstairs to join the fun.
  • I will have some light snacks available.
  • If you’ve already filled out the Info Share form, you don’t need to do it again; however, if you want to update any info, you should be able to do that. Here is the link.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHARE THIS MIXER WITH ANYONE ELSE YOU THINK WOULD BE INTERESTED! I will quit yelling at you now. I am just excited about meeting and connecting with others in this sacred space that is SO needed in the world right now!!

If you have any questions, comments, feedback, suggestions for making these events more awesome (or if you’re interested in doing a presentation during one of our sessions), please reach out to me at heather@spacetobehuman.life.

Take care, My Friends!!


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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Mindset, Pain, Trauma

The Magick of the Mind

heather

“If you treat an individual as he is, he will stay as he is, but if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.”  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
 
What role do you think thoughts play in how your day, week, year, life turn out?  Are thoughts just nebulous, harmless wisps that float across your brain pan?  Do they have power in and of themselves?
 
How about intention?   Does the intention with which you do something affect the outcome of that action?  Let’s say it’s a snowy morning and you notice your elderly neighbor’s walk isn’t shoveled.  If you shovel his walk with the intention of wanting to help out a neighbor vs. doing it with the intention of meeting a social obligation that you resent, does it still have the same effect?  Can your neighbor, on a subconscious level, sense the difference in intention and perhaps feel gratitude in one case and shame in another, even though no words were spoken?
 
Likewise, do our thoughts, beliefs, and intentions affect the responses we get from others?  If we believe a person we are interacting with is oafish or narrow-minded, does the person respond to the energy of that belief and respond with oafishness or narrow-mindedness?  What comes first, the chicken or the egg?

“Scientific experiments have repeatedly shown that thoughts can directly influence the rate of growth in plants, fungi, and bacteria.  William Tiller, a physicist at Stanford University, has shown that thoughts can affect electronic instruments.”  The Emotion Code.
 
The importance of intention has been top of mind lately.  In my coaching class, we are taught that we need to have “unconditional positive regard” for our client – complete acceptance and support of the client, no matter what she says or does.  This is a fundamental pre-requisite of providing “safe space” for people, so that they feel secure in opening up to possibilities and potential.
 
Intention is also a fundamental part of a bodywork session.  Sometimes I will invite my clients to set an intention for the session (if you don’t know where you’re going, how will you get there?!), and I too take a moment to set an intention for the session.  Usually my intention is to LISTEN in all the ways I can and to trust my hands.  Intention also comes into play with the hands-on work.  It may not be possible to actually massage the psoas, which lies deep, deep, deep in the body, alongside the spine, but if, with my mind, I can visualize the layers of the abdomen, see my hands sinking slowly down through the skin, the layers of muscle, the greater omentum, the small intestine, and then see the psoas resting along the back, then perhaps I can influence the psoas with my intention.  CranioSacral work is very much about intention. It’s very gentle work, but it can be very impactful through the use of intention, meaning it can cause less trauma to the body in the course of a treatment.  As Jill Miller (creator of the Yoga Tune Up® balls) says, “It doesn’t have to hurt to work!”
 
I am working on being very intentional with my intention.  My intention is to bring more fun and enjoyment into daily life instead of having the intention of getting done with a task as quickly as possible so that I can rush on to the next item on my to-do list.  Having an intention of curiosity and exploration sounds like a lot more fun than having an intention of speed and productivity.  I’m a human being, after all, not a computer!
 
What intention do you bring to your work, to your life, to your mindset?  What beliefs do you have about others that might be affecting your interactions with them?  What could shift in your life if you brought an intention of unconditional positive regard into your interactions with others?
 
Space to be Human Lab
Feel Better and Pay Less
If you are experiencing headaches, neck or back pain, stress and tension-related disorders, TMJ syndrome, or general body pain, CranioSacral Therapy (a gentle full-body treatment that can improve the health of the nervous system) could help you!  I am offering unlimited sessions at a $15 discount for the next few months.  Please use code “CRANIO” when you book a 90 minute session or a New Client session to receive the discount. 
 
QCHWP Mixer
Are you a health and wellness practitioner in the Quad Cities?  Join us on February 6th to meet and connect with other like-minded professionals and discover how a rising tide raises all boats.  More details can be found here.
 
The Itsy Bitsy (A catalytic question)
What do you value most about yourself, your relationships, and the nature of your work?
 
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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Trauma, Yoga

The Red Thread

heather
The Red ThreadDo you believe that your future is pre-determined?  Do you believe in dharma – the thought that you were put here for a reason and you have a specific purpose to fill?  Do you believe in free-will?  Do you believe in both fate and free-will at the same time?
 
I believe that we have a purpose and path laid out before us, and I believe that we have the freewill to make choices along that path.  And I believe that no matter what choice we make, we are on that path. 
 
Why do I think that?
 
Because it I find it reassuring that no matter what I do, I am on the right path.   And because I’m human, I don’t want to be told what to do.  I don’t want to have my freedom to choose taken away from my. I want to be free.
 
So I choose to believe in the conundrum of having a designated purpose and in the freedom to choose my path.
 
I will turn 46 next month.  For all intents and purposes, I am 50 years old.  And that is super duper bonkers to me.  I asked Tim last night how old he feels, and he said 35.  I said I feel about 14.  I still feel in many ways like a noob in this world – still figuring things out, still figuring out who I am, what I want, still finding my confidence and roots.
 
But little by little, every step I take clarifies me to myself.  This has become more evident over the past 10 years, and it has escalated over the past 6 months or so.  A through-line is crystallizing.
 
#1 – I took a Cranial Sacral class from Wahneta Dimmer in Cedar Rapids, IA.  The class involved laying my hands on different parts of my client’s bodies and just NOTICING what I noticed.  As I slowed down and focused on my hands and listened to the body, I started to observe so much LIFE under my hands.  I felt pulses, rhythms, flows, heat, vibrations, a sense of connection to something wise and fun.  These were all sensations I totally missed when diving deep and with force into the body.  By changing my intention to one of listening instead of doing, the body’s life energies felt safe enough to come out and say “Hi!  Thanks for noticing us! How can I help you?”
 
#2 – I started the Dr. Sears Wellness Institute’s Master Health Coach Certification class.  I wasn’t sure what to expect.  The class was one of the least expensive I found ($2,300 instead of $8,000 – $21,000), but I was familiar with Dr. Sears’ classes, so I figured it would be worth exploring.   It has blown me away by how thorough and organized it is.  We are learning 3 types of coaching techniques – Motivational Interviewing,  Appreciative Coaching, and Non-Violent Communication.  Guess what all 3 styles have in common?  This is their premise:
 
The client is a mystery to be appreciated, not a problem to be solved.  People are the undisputed experts on themselves.  Coaching is first and foremost about LISTENING and providing space to the client so they can process.  People believe what they hear themselves say.  People don’t want to be told what to do.
 
Again, the through-line of being a compassionate, open witness who provides clients with space to trust their own inner wisdom is showing up.
 
#3 – I am beginning Year 2 of the Somatic Experiencing trauma-resolution training.  Somatic Experiencing is all about providing a safe space and time to enable clients to notice their inner world and see and process what the body wants to show them.  It’s a form of somatic (body-oriented) deep, compassionate, curious listening.
 
#4 – I just finished the Upledger CranioSacral Therapy (CST) Level 1 class last week.  This is a type of gentle touch therapy that uses the power of intention and a listening presence to help unwind restrictions in the body, thereby reducing pain and enhancing well-being.  CST respects the wisdom of the body (referred to as our “Inner Physician).  AGAIN, the theme of deep listening, with a belief in the body’s wisdom, is apparent.
 
My purpose, my path, my work here in this life is to be, in my own small way, a facilitator of reconnection to wholeness.  I am here to offer people the space and opportunity to slow down and reconnect to their inner wisdom and innate healing ability – to appreciate the magic and mystery of being a human being.  I am here to help people (including myself) find space to be human. 
 
What is your through-line?  What theme keeps popping up in disparate areas of your life?  What idea keeps coming for you, no matter where you go, what you do?
 
Space to be Human Lab
If you are experiencing headaches, migraines, chronic neck and back pain, stress and tension-related disorders, TMJ syndrome, or general body pain, and you appreciate (or are curious about!) a gentle touch, CranioSacral Therapy could help.
 
I need to perform 75 CST sessions before I take CranioSacral Level 2 in August, so I am offering sessions at a $15 discount for the next few months.  Please use code “CRANIO” when you book a 90 minute session or a New Client session to receive the discount. 
 
The Itsy Bitsy
Sustainable behavior change starts with making small changes consistently.  A change can be engendered by something so small and isty bity as a question.  In the spirit of Appreciative Coaching, I’m going to start offering a question to you weekly that might spark something – some awareness, some motivation, some curiosity.  Here’s this week’s question: Who are you when you are at your best?

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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Mindset

The Rabbit Manifesto

heather

So.  It’s 1-1.  That time of year where we usually set goals and figure out what we want the next year to bring.  What I’ve learned from my health coaching class and from personal experience is that goals are meant to be unreached.  Well, not really.  But goals often have a way of setting us up for failure.  Or maybe more accurately put, we have a tendency to set goals in such a way that we set OURSELVES up for failure.  We are too restrictive, we take on too much change too quickly, we set goals based on “shoulds.”
 
How can we improve our chances of effecting the changes that we want in our lives?
 
How about instead of setting a BHAG (big hairy audacious goal), we set a topic?
 
Yes
 
A Topic
 
A topic that we would like to focus on for the upcoming year.
 
How does that feel?  As you look forward into 2023, think about a goal you might set.  Maybe your goal is to save $2000, or to lose 20 pounds, or to travel to a place you’ve never been once/month.   Envision yourself taking the steps required to get there.  How do your insides respond to the prospect of executing on those steps? 
 
Now, think about a topic for 2023.  Maybe your topic is Learning, or maybe it’s Self-Discovery, or maybe it’s Connection.  Think about what you would do, how you would live, what choices you would make in service to that topic.  How does that feel in your body? 
 
I’m not saying that having goals is wrong, or that having a topic or a theme is better than having goals.  I’m just saying it’s different.  And sometimes trying something different can make all the difference!  Our brains and bodies thrive on novelty.  We are tremendously adaptable, so we have to keep switching things up in order to keep our minds and bodies awake and alive.  If the idea of determining a 2023 topic gave you a little burst of curiosity/interest/expansion, you could check out One Word That Will Change Your Life. I also have a worksheet you can use to identify your values, and that would be a good starting place.  Shoot me an email if you want a copy of it.
 
My topic for 2023 is:
 
Listen
 
I want to become a better listener in 2023.  I want to listen to my Self better.  I want to listen to my body.  I want to listen with my whole being (my eyes, my ears, my intuition, my nervous system, my hands) to my loved ones and clients.  I want to listen when someone talks to me and decipher the feeling and need that’s being expressed underneath what they are saying.  I want to listen with curiosity and without judgement, comparison, or jealousy.  I want to listen to the silence. I want to listen to the rhythms.  I want to listen more and speak less.  I want to listen when the Universe speaks.  I want to listen and see what I can learn, letting go of the compulsive need to prove my worth and value.  I want to listen and see what healing naturally comes as a byproduct of finally being truly heard.  I want to chill the f@Ck out and just listen.

I did our annual Animal Spirit “Year Ahead Spread” which involves drawing a card for each month of the year and then a final card with the overall “theme” for the year.  For January, I drew The Dragon, which is pretty awesome.  For my overall theme, I drew The Rabbit.  Which seemed slightly less cool.  But I read the text, and I have to say, the Universe sent me the message I needed to hear.

 
What’s on tap for you in 2023?  If you care to share your topic for 2023, I would love to hear it.  The first person to send me their topic (in 1 word) will get a little custom-stamped metal token as a daily reminder. 😊
 
And with that, let me wish you HAPPY NEW YEAR!  Thank you for joining me on this journey of figuring out what it means to be human and how we can best take advantage of that gift.  I’ll leave you with this quote from “Craniosacral Therapy” by Upledger & Vredevoogd:
 
“Remember that the potential of humankind is limited only by its own concept of that limitation.”
 
Space to be Human Lab

  • If you are experiencing pain in your mind-body and would like help finding more space, ease, and room for more positive possibilities, you can book a bodywork session here. 
  • If you are a health & wellness professional in the Quad Cities, and you would like to meet other local health professionals, let me know.  I’m organizing a mixer for those of us interested in making new connections for the benefits of our clients and ourselves.  It will likely be in late January; more details will be forthcoming.

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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Mindset, Pain

The Poetic Principle

heather

I’m no expert on quantum physics.  Well, really I know very little about quantum physics, But what I gather, is that basically all potentialities exist, and only once something is observed, does it settle into being one thing over another.  So everything around us is kind of EVERYTHING all at once until we look at it, and then it becomes a can of Waterloo, an iPhone, a book, a dark chocolate caramel cream.  It kinda makes reality get a bit wonky and shifty and slippery.  So maybe my understanding is wrong.  Or maybe it isn’t.  Or maybe me believing that this is what quantum physics IS makes quantum physics work that way in MY world. 
 
I was reminded of this weirdness in quantum physics as I dove into the Week 4 reading for my coaching certification.  I have a deep crush on two books in my class:  Appreciative Coaching and Motivational Interviewing.  Both of these books teach us that we can become masterful in our lives.  We are not “problems to be solved but miracles and mysteries to be appreciated.”  We are not slaves to the past.  Small changes can lead to big differences in our life. And this:
 
THE ACT OF ASKING QUESTIONS INFLUENCES THE INDIVIDUAL (much like how, in quantum physics, being observed changes what’s being observed).
 
Just by asking a question, worlds can shift. 
 
I’ve experienced this many time with my coaches.  They’ll ask a question, and BAM!  I sheepishly realize that I was seeing the situation with blinders on – only seeing the one negative interpretation when literally countless options of reality exist in which I can put my belief.  With that one question, my world view shifted. 
 
Appreciative Coaching introduced me to “The Poetic Principle,” which “suggests that life stories can be rewritten to better fit how clients see themselves in their present or future.”  A person can take poetic license to reframe their story.  We can re-imagine what our life experiences mean. 
 
For example, for many years I was embarrassed by the fact that I didn’t get my bachelor’s degree right after high school like “normal” people.  I went to community college for a bit, got married, worked part-time as a teller, became an admin assistant, then decided I needed to get a 4-year degree, so I went to college at night while working full-time.  Then since all my coworkers were getting their MBAs, I decided I should get one too.  I was already in school-mode, so why not just keep going?  But I really felt as if I didn’t belong with everyone else in that program.  They all had these college experiences of playing sports, living in dorms, partying, being involved in sororities and making amazing life-long friendships.  I sorely regretted that I didn’t have that experience.
 
Now I look back on that time, and with my poetic license, I feel impressed with my drive and tenacity.  I got my bachelor’s and my master’s while working full-time; I graduated with distinction, and I finished school with minimal student debt, as the bank I worked for offered tuition reimbursement.  I kicked off a habit of life-long learning that has kept my mind active and which has taken me on journeys around the county and introduced me to so many brilliant people.  I took the path less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
 
How would you re-write your story, to draw out and highlight your strengths?  How can you discover and celebrate your successes?   You could ask yourself some tough questions about your standard life story –  Is that true?  How do you know it’s true?  What if the opposite was true?  Who would you be if you believed in a different truth?  (For more info on these types of questions, you can check out Byron Kate.).
 
And with that, I’m signing off.  I need to baby myself a bit today because the time change has messed with my temporal existence, and I don’t know if it’s time to go to bed or time to go to lunch (and yes, I realize this is a story I’m telling myself about DST!!).
 
Happy Sunday My Peeps!
 
Space to be Human Lab

  • If you would like to get your body moving better and feeling better before getting inundated with sweets, treats, and visitors, you can book a session here.
  • I am doing market research!  I’m looking for people who have a gap between where they are and where they want to be.  I am curious about what has gotten in your way in the past, what kind of help you would want from a coach, and what life would look like to you if you were flourishing.  If you are interested in sharing your thoughts with me, reply to this email with the words, “I want to chat,” and I’ll contact you with more details.

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Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation

The Science of Self-Belief

heather

Self-Efficacy.  What the heck does that mean?  Efficacy means “the power or to produce an effect.” So self-efficacy, is your belief in your power to effect something. 
 
Our belief in what we are and are not capable of doing is the greatest determinant of what we actually are and are not capable of doing!  Our BELIEF, mind you – this can be completely and utterly unrelated to FACT.  The FACT is, we may be super smart, super creative, super gifted.  But if our BELIEF is that we are a bit dim, we don’t have any original ideas, and there is nothing special about us – well, that’s the filter through which we see ourselves, and that’s the belief upon which we’ll make our choices.
 
For school I read a super interesting article on Social Cognitive Theory.  This theory of human functioning states that we as humans have agency (meaning we have power over our actions/response; we are not victims of our circumstances) and “what people think, believe, and feel affects how they behave.”  How we behave affects the results we get in life.  So, humans are “influential in determining their own destiny.”
 
Perhaps you know someone like this (or perhaps this someone is you): 
 
This person is special.  She is brilliant, funny, a natural problem-solver.  Anything broken, she can fix.  She’s a hard worker – someone who won’t give up just because the problem is a tricksy one.  She’s kind, considerate; someone who just naturally inspires respect. 
 
She is presented with a new opportunity, a project that is just outside of her comfort zone – a challenge.  She is afraid.  She thinks she’s underqualified.  She thinks she might fail.  She believes that someone else – someone smarter, someone with more credentials, someone with more experience – would be a better fit.
 
Yet you look at her and go, “OMG.  TAKE IT!!!  DO IT!!! You would be SO awesome at this!!”
 
But her reality, her filter, is that she cannot do it.  She doesn’t see what she’s capable of.  So she doesn’t accept the challenge and learn and grow as a result of working through it. She doesn’t increase her mastery.  She stays in the safe little box in which her self-image confines her.
 
Ugh!  This is all just based on her BELIEF, not FACT.
 
But the good news is, self-efficacy beliefs CAN CHANGE!  We can take on new challenges and improve our mastery.  We can watch others who are similar to us and notice what they are accomplishing and realize, “Hey! She is a lot like me, and she did it!  I could do it too!.”  Our self-efficacy can also improve if we are around supportive people who provide positive feedback on our performance (e.g. a coach).  We can also start to notice our moods and emotions and take steps to deal with stress in more effective ways and learn how to process negative emotional states, enabling us to no longer be completely derailed by stress, fear, and anxiety.
 
There is SO much more to dive into here, but I wanted to share this little intro because I think there is so much room for hope here.  1.  We are not victims; we have power to change our perceptions and therefore our life.  2.  We have the power to change our beliefs about who we are and our abilities.  It requires awareness, support, and willingness to get uncomfortable, but it’s possible!
 
Belief in my own abilities is something that I have struggled with my whole life, but, as I reviewed some of the questionnaires that help you evaluate your self-efficacy, I realized, “Holy Sh!t.  I’m getting better.  I’M CHANGING!!”  Here’s an article with some questions that might help you see where you fall on self-efficacy spectrum. 
 
What is your truth?  Do you believe you can change your behavior and your life by changing your belief about you?
 
Happy Sunday, my friends!  Hope you have a BOO-tiful Halloween (get it??)!
 
Looking for feedback:

  • I am looking for smart women who feel dumb when it comes to taking care of themselves to help me do some market research. I want to hear what you want and need, what you are struggling with, what you would be SO HAPPY to achieve if you were to work with a coach.  If you are interested in sharing your thoughts with me, you can book a 30 minute chat session here.

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  • November is just around the corner, and it’s already filling up fast. You can book a session here.

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Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Mindset, Pain

The BEST WAY to Keep Yourself Stuck

heather
Soooooo….. I signed up for another training class.  I know I know!  I need to take my own advice to slow down, to enjoy life, to have fun, etc.  But this is something I’ve been wanting to do for a decade.
 
I started my journey into the health and wellness sphere about 12 years ago, when I did a 21-Day challenge where I followed the “primal” lifestyle.  The immediate results blew my mind and completely changed how I lived my life.  At the time I wanted to TELL EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE about how eating whole foods, moving your body daily, being outside, having a good social network, etc. could resolve so many health issues (for me it tremendously reduced my anxiety, and it also helped me maintain a healthy weight – something I had struggled with for 20 years). 
 
BUT.  At the time health coaching wasn’t really a thing.  The programs I found that taught health coaching seemed very pushy and sales-y, and I got a bad vibe from them.  Health coaching was also completely unregulated, so it was hard to know if you were doing a program that would teach you good, evidence-based info.
 
So I diverged.  I did yoga teacher training.  I did Yoga Tune Up® training.  I became a licensed massaged therapist.
 
But, helping people thrive by looking into their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health was, and still is, a central tenet of what I do.  But I want to DO IT BETTER.  Knowing WHAT to do is no good unless you actually do it.  Telling my clients information is not leading to transformation.
 
Enter Coaching.
 
There is an art and science to helping people change.  And I want to learn it!  So last week I started a year-long journey to become a board-certified health and wellness coach.  This means that, if/when you want to shift yourself towards a more joyful, aligned, integrated version of yourself, I will be able to help you figure out what you want and how you want to get there.
 
And THAT – me helping you figure out you – is what this coaching program is all about.  As I’ve dove into the reading for this class, I realized that coaches aren’t supposed to tell you what to do.  They assume you have the answers inside you already, you just need help drawing them out.  I’ve worked with a few coaches and therapists over the past 4 years, and I’ve been annoyed with all of them on occasion because I JUST WANT THEM TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO.  And they won’t.  They ask me questions.  They draw me out.  They make me work for my own answers.  Lo!  They were doing coaching right!
 
To that point, I recently learned about Ambivalence, which is:
“Simultaneously wanting and not wanting something at the same time.” (Motivational Interviewing – Miller, Rollnick).
 
That pretty much describes me when it comes to facing any decision ever.  I talk myself into it. I talk myself out of it.  I talk myself back into it.  Then I get tired of listening to myself in my head and go and numb myself with a drink, or Instagram, or another self-help book.
 
Come to find out, pretty much everyone is like this.  We see the reasons FOR change, we see the reasons AGAINST change, and we can’t decide, so we hang out in indecision, stuck.
 
But this is where a good coach can help.  Motivational Interviewing (MI) points out that “People believe what they hear themselves say.”  So a coach needs to be careful what position she takes when helping a person walk through a decision.  Humans have an interesting tendency – “Argue for one side and the ambivalent person is likely to take up and defend the opposite.” (MI)   So, if a coach takes a stance such as, “You need to quit smoking,”  the coachee will hear himself give the coach ALL the reasons why he should continue to smoke.  Instead, asking the coachee something like, “Why would you want to make this change?  What are the 3 best reasons for you to do it? How important is it for you to make this change?” (MI) could lead the coachee to vocalize his reasons FOR quitting, and maybe he hears himself give those reasons and then actually believes them.
 
It reminds me so much of working with Huehue.  The more I go after him, the more he runs. But If I walk away for a spell, within a few moments he is bopping after me.  That oppositional energy is so powerful!


 
The Plea:
– For my program, I will need 3 primary volunteers and 2 alternate volunteers to do practice coaching sessions.  The coaching sessions will be 5-20 minutes, sometimes as long as 30 minutes depending on the assignment.  Initially the coaching will be about every-other week, and then it will shift into weekly sessions.  If you are interested in being a coaching volunteer, please respond with “I’m interested!” and then I will send you more details.
– I am also looking for smart women who feel dumb when it comes to taking care of themselves.  I want to hear what you want and need, what you are struggling with, what you would be SO HAPPY to achieve.  I would love to chat with you for ~30 minutes and pick your juicy brain.  If you are interested in sharing your thoughts with me, please respond with “Pick my brain!”

That’s it for today.  I hope you’re having an awesome day and thank you for reading my ramblings!
 
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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Productivity

Getting more bang for your Thinking Buck

heather

The human brain is a funny thing.  In Dr. Betsy Rippentrop’s Yoga for the Mind class, I learned something that massively shifted my perspective.  The human brain is like Teflon for the good stuff and Velcro for the bad stuff.  The good flows right on by, and the bad just sits there and festers.  This is a handy feature when the bad stuff can kill you, but in modern times, that “bad stuff” is often comprised of less deadly things such as your computer re-booting while you’re in the middle of crafting a nasty ol’ spreadsheet with lots of formulas and data that you have not yet saved, or getting (what you think) is a frustrated look from your boss in a meeting, or making a post on Instagram and getting only crickets in return. Yet, our mind fixates on those things, and we can quickly spin off into stories about how the world is crumbling and everyone and everything sucks, especially us.
 
So, what to do?
 
We must consciously focus on what is going well.  Recognize that our brains have this tendency to catastrophize, so intentionally pro-tastrophize or opportunitize or miracalize.  I cannot find an antonym to catastrophize, so I’m just making words up.  But you get the picture. 
 
Spend time thinking about what DID go right, what COULD go right, what IS going right in our day, in our body, in our life.  Our body is constantly releasing a slew of chemicals in response to our thoughts that changes the soup in which our cells live, and that soup determines what our cells do and what genes are activated within them.  We are not at the total mercy of the genes we carry.  The genes that get activated are determined by the signals they get from their environment.
 
Want some proof of the importance of mindset?  Check out this study: Mind-set Matters; Exercise and the Placebo Effect. Here’s a quote form the Abstract (underlining is mine):
 
In a study testing whether the relationship between exercise and health is moderated by one’s mindset, 84 female room attendants working in seven different hotels were measured on physiological health variables affected by exercise. Those in the informed condition were told that the work they do (cleaning hotel rooms) is good exercise and satisfies the Surgeon General’s recommendations for an active lifestyle. Examples of how their work was exercise were provided. Subjects in the control group were not given this information. Although actual behavior did not change, 4 weeks after the intervention, the informed group perceived themselves to be getting significantly more exercise than before. As a result, compared with the control group, they showed a decrease in weight, blood pressure, body fat, waist-to-hip ratio, and body mass index. These results support the hypothesis that exercise affects health in part or in whole via the placebo effect.
 
What the??  If we BELIEVE that what we are doing is good for us, our physiology changes to make it so!!!  This is mind-blowing. Let’s say you are a person who feels as if you never get enough exercise.  However, every morning, you walk down the stairs to brush your teeth, you bend over to get coffee out of the cupboard, you reach up to get a coffee cup, you let the dog out in the yard and toss the ball a few times and maybe chase the dog when it won’t give you the ball back.  You walk back inside and go upstairs to get dressed, reaching to the top shelf in your closet for your sweater and squatting down to get the socks out of the bottom drawer.
 
Well, look at that. You actually got in a lot of movement – shoulder stretches, squats, a little cardio, some incline and declines.  What if you started noticing all the ways you DO get enough exercise instead of telling yourself you are failing because you don’t go to the gym a few times a week.  How would your body change?
 
What other stories could you tell yourself differently to shift how your body reacts to them?  As I’ve mentioned, I’ve been working with a coach, Ariel Kiley. I email her my Wins whenever I think of them (e.g. I am winning at Sober October because I haven’t had a drink yet, or I am FULLY BOOKED this week, or my body told me to quit obsessing about WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE and just take a bath (which I did)).  This is helping me counteract that negativity bias, and it’s also providing an electronic, searchable record of my Wins, so that I can pull them up when I feel poorly about myself.  SO HELPFUL.
 
I hope you are having a great day!!  If you need a Miracalize or Opportunize Partner, feel free to shoot me an email when you get a Win. <3
 
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