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Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Productivity, Trauma, Uncategorized, Yoga

What Parts of Your Self Are You Missing?

November 5, 2023 heather

Is all your pain typically on one side of the body? What do you make of that? Is it because of that snowboard crash when you were 15, where you landed on your tail bone SO HARD that you saw stars? Did that accident create a scoliosis in your body, which over time concentrated all your pain on one side? Or is it because you’re right-handed, and you use the right side of your body more, so it hurts more? Or is it because you use the left side of your body less, so it hurts more because it’s weaker?

These are all plausible explanations for why your foot, knee, hip, shoulder, ear all hurt on that one side of your body, and there could be a zillion more physical reasons. But guess what – we aren’t just physical beings! We are also emotional, mental, and spiritual beings, which means that how we think, feel (or don’t feel), and live can create pain & sensations in our bodies. And according to many teachers, medical professionals, and research, where we feel pain in our bodies can be a clue as to what is imbalanced.

For example, the right and left sides of the body represent different qualities. The left side of the body represents more “feminine” or “Being” qualities; whereas, the right side is our “masculine” side, which represents more “Doing” qualities. Take a look at this list (which I received in Dr. Betsy Rippentrop’s Yoga for the Mind course).

Left Side/Feminine/Being	Right Side/Masculine/Doing
Receptive	Active/Doing
Nurturing	Directed
Kind	Hard
Gentle	Stable
Diffuse	Logical
Intuitive	Achieving/productivity
Self-soothing	Other-soothing
Compassion	Ordered
Wild/natural	Competitive
Complex	Focused
Sensual	Penetrating
Vulnerable	Aggressive
Expressive	Insightful
Cooperative	Disciplined
Tolerant	Take charge

What qualities would you say are typically more valued in our society? Does our culture encourage us to explore, to be open and receptive to other’s ideas and ways of life? Are we supported when we need to rest and restore ourselves? Or are we typically encouraged to be productive, to be the best we can be, to trust logic and science over mystery and intuition?
Do you identify more with one side or the other? How might your body be trying to get your attention by presenting you with pain on one side of your body?

All of us, no matter our gender, need a balance of all of these traits to be a whole being. As I reflect on this list, I realize that while I have made progress in integrating more of my feminine side, I still am imbalanced. For decades, my life has revolved around getting shit done, driving forward, and accomplishing things. This focus started at an early age; growing up, I prided myself on not being a “girly-girl.” I rarely cried. I didn’t wear pink. I was motivated to excel. I was practical, sensible, reliable – the planner and organizer.

I’ve started to get to know my body better, to tune in to my inner landscape over the past few years, I repeatedly notice that my left side feels very dim and muted – almost as if it’s shy. And I am beginning to understand why. I have split off from my feminine nature. And I am not the only one!

“In spite of the successes achieved by the women’s movement, the prevailing myth in our culture is that certain people, positions, and events have more inherent value than others. These … are usually masculine or male-defined. Male norms have become the social standard for leadership, personal autonomy, and success in this culture, and in comparison, women find themselves perceived as lacking in competence, intelligence, and power.” Maureen Murdock, A Heroine’s Journey.

The author states that our quest at this point in our culture, is to fully embrace our feminine nature – that’s what we need to feel integrated, balanced, and whole. In working with my clients, both men and women, I’ve realized that is what we all want – to have balanced lives, to be connected to all the parts of ourselves and to others, to understand ourselves, and to have the freedom to live in alignment with our true natures.

How do we do this? How do we identify where we are lacking balance and start to rectify it?

There are so many tools that can help! Journaling, meditation, working with a therapist or coach, taking to a trusted friend, getting bodywork. All of these things help us slow down and show up for ourselves.

How am I going about repairing this rift with my feminine nature? Well, Wednesday afternoon between sessions, instead of studying or cleaning (aka DOING), I laid on the floor with my feet up on the couch and looked out the window at the trees and the sky (aka BEING). I’ve also been doing a lot of journaling. I’ve been prioritizing meditation over getting shit done. I bought some new makeup and am trying to be more thoughtful about my appearance – taking pride in taking care of myself and looking pretty. I’m inspired by one of clients and am considering taking a belly dance class. What ideas do you have for healing the split between you and your Being nature?

If you are curious about your Self and would like to feel more integrated, self-aware, and appreciative of the yourself, I would love to partner with you. CranioSacral therapy and coaching are both excellent resources for this journey back to wholeness. You can book a bodywork session or a free 15-minute consultation here.

The Sunday Letters
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Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Paleo, Trauma, Yoga

But…WHY???

October 1, 2023 heather

“Why do you do what you do? What is the PURPOSE? What’s YOUR purpose? What’s your cause? What do you believe?”

I first encountered these questions a couple of years ago when a dear friend of mine sent me the book, “Find Your Why” by Simon Sinek. In true Heather fashion, I immediately read the book and used it to help OTHER people find THEIR WHYs, completely bypassing the exercise for myself.

But then the need to “find your why” kept popping up in random podcasts, books, conversations. I resisted the prompting – who has the time and energy to do such heavy, difficult thought work?? Can’t someone just TELL me why I’m here, so I can take that knowledge and run with it?? Wouldn’t that be more efficient??

The Universe kept insisting that I take the time and figure this out for myself, recently presenting me with these questions yet again as part of a group coaching program I’m doing. We were instructed to answer these questions as it relates to WHY we do bodywork, and the answer “to help people feel better” was not allowed, dammit.

I finally sat down, got out an orange Papermate Flair (doing hard things is easier with a pretty pen) and went to work. And what I came up with really did give me some clarity and validation that, not only do I HAVE a purpose, but I am following it!

Here is what I wrote down:

I believe that we have an innate capacity to heal, given the right conditions. I believe our bodies are amazing and should be tended lovingly. I do this work because I want to bring more hope and joy into this world, reduce suffering, help people realize their potential, and up-level humanity, one person at a time.

I often struggle with the belief that I am doing “it” wrong – “it” meaning almost everything – life, relationships, learning, thinking, being, doing. This limiting belief that “I am doing it wrong” rears its head incessantly in regard to my career. I am interested in many things, and so I pursue many things, but I feel as if I SHOULD focus on one thing and get really good at it. But this exercise helped solidify that, while I am pursuing a lot of different areas of interest, they are all driven by the same WHY – a belief in the magic and wonder of the human being and a desire to unleash that magic to make the world a better place. All these classes and books and podcasts are all connected by that golden thread to my WHY.

I also had a light bulb moment and realized that my “origin story” weaves perfectly into this WHY as well. I decided to share it with you, as this is a question that I get from clients ALL the time – “How did you get into this work?”

Let me tell you. 😊

My journey into the healing arts began about 13 years ago. I was suffering from nasty anxiety. I was constantly afraid of passing out and felt as if my grip on reality was very tenuous. I dreaded getting stopped at a stop light, especially if I was the first car in line. I would roll down my window, turn up the AC full blast on my face and pray that I would remain conscious. At the grocery store, if I had to wait in line, I would pop mint gum in my mouth and fan my face in an attempt to stay upright and cogent. When I had to attend a meeting at work, I would try to sit as close to the door as possible, and I always had water with me, so I could take a sip when I felt a little spinny. Sometimes even on walks I would start to feel myself lilt, and my heart would beat faster and faster as I tried to hurry home before something bad happened. Even sometimes after eating, I would feel faint.

I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, a bit overweight, inflamed, and freaked out. What was wrong with me??

I started to seek treatment and found a chiropractor and acupuncturist who helped me start to feel better. And then I ran across an article about the primal lifestyle that grabbed my attention with its common sense approach to how to live. I bought the book mentioned in the article, The 21 Day Total Body Transformation, and realized, this is something I could actually do! I decided to follow the official 21-day plan, which included things like eating whole foods, cutting out sugar, gluten, and processed foods, eating healthy oils, prioritizing sleep hygiene, walking outside, doing bodyweight exercises, etc. Within 2 weeks of starting the plan, my anxiety was nearly gone!! My allergies were practically non-existent. I had energy ALL DAY LONG. I felt GOOD.

And my mind was blown. I experienced all these benefits, just from changing how I ate, how I moved, how I slept. It opened my eyes to our innate capacity to heal and thrive if we give ourselves the right conditions.

I dived into learning all I could about those “right conditions,” which included training as a yoga teacher, certifying as a Roll Model Method Practitioner® & Yoga Tune Up® Teacher, and attending an 18-month intensive training program in Florida to learn neurosomatic therapy. I started to learn about trauma and its effects on the mind, body, and spirit, so I began training in the Somatic Experiencing program. I received CranioSacral therapy and was in love with how calm and at ease it made me feel, so I started training in that as well. I met a mentor who uses CranioSacral and visceral manipulation to help people who have been pretty much branded as “unhelpable” by the mainstream medical system, which got me even more curious about the benefits of organ work, so I dived into that this past August. So many different modalities and styles, and they all had the same underlying theme of, “let’s help the body and mind get into a position/condition where its self-healing capacities can be unleashed, so people can start to feel vibrant again.”

That brings us to today, 10/1/2023. That’s my story.

What’s your story? Why do you do what you do? What do you believe? Taking some time and space to sit with these questions and contemplate them can bring much-needed clarity to our urgent lives and help ensure we are living in a way that is in alignment with what we really care about. If you need a compassionate witness help you slow down long enough to consider these questions, I am here for you! A CranioSacral Therapy (CST) session can be an excellent way to start to slowly apply that brake pedal. If you would like explore CST, you can book a bodywork session with me here. I am also offering coaching services on a limited basis, and if that idea tickles your fancy, please reply to this email.

HAPPY SUNDAY, MY FRIENDS! I hope you have a moment today that feels like this:

P.S. I was really struggling with what to write today. I sat for several minutes with my head in my palms trying to force something to come out. I had a little voice encouraging me to take a break and go for a walk. Which I, of course ignored (I MUST POWER THROUGH). When I was done writing, I went for a walk and was flooded with all sorts of good ideas, one of which is the following:

When I think, “I’m not doing it right,” I can reframe it to, “I’m doing it.” OMG. SUCH a difference.

So what’s the lesson in this long post script? Listen to the inner voice! Don’t force things! Sense the spaces through which you can flow with little effort (thanks to Jon Kabat-Zinn for the last one), and go for the effing walk!!

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Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Productivity, Trauma

From Floundering to Flourishing: An exercise in patient exploration

August 13, 2023 heather

“The spirit of the times is one of joyless urgency.” Marilynne Robinson

Well, that’s a cheerful quote to open up my Sunday Letter, isn’t it?! But I had to share it because it perfectly encapsulates how I was feeling for the past few months. I think it’s how many of us feel quite often, actually – “I must get everything done as quickly as possible so that I can have time to vegetate in front of the TV whilst I contemplate all the things I need to get done tomorrow, but which I know I won’t have time to do!”

But lately I’ve been feeling different.

I’ve been feeling joy.

I’ve been feeling presence.

I’ve been feeling appreciation and excitement about life.

And what shifted?

The damndest thing is, I don’t know for sure!

In an attempt to get out of this funk/depression I have been trying a lot of things – meditating more regularly, chiropractic care, functional medicine care, the physiological sigh for 5 minutes every night, more long walks outside in the morning, an Aztec healing session, shifting my center of perception from my head to my heart, spending more time with my brother and my niece while they stayed at my house for a couple of weeks, taking a break from alcohol for a few weeks, making a huge chart in my office that very clearly lays out my personal and professional goals for August (replete with checkboxes and spaces to fill in my success metrics), trying some NEW things (new restaurants, new activities), pushing myself to do stuff that’s uncomfortable, etc. Since I was trying a bunch of things simultaneously, I don’t know what the catalyst was. Or maybe all the things together formed the magic potion!

And I’m feeling better. I really noticed this yesterday as Tim, Huehue, and I were canoeing down the Maquoketa River. This is an almost annual tradition, so I’ve floated that river probably 20-30 times in my life. But yesterday, I was THERE for it. I noticed the serenity of the water, the wispy white clouds that looked like elegant apostrophes, the light glinting on the water, the dunes of sand cresting and falling under surface of the river, the pleasure of spending time with two of my favorite beings.

It was beautiful. I was content. I was present and accounted for. I felt happy. I felt like something had shifted. And then I got anxious because I realized that if something shifted up, it means that it could shift back down again. But then I realized that there is no point in worrying about the if/when, when I could just be present with the feeling of being content. So I let that thought go.

In Somatic Experiencing, they teach that trauma needs to be processed in a titrated fashion. You can’t dive right into the trauma vortex and try to “fix it.” You explore the edges, monitor the state of your nervous system, and when you get too activated, you pendulate back to a safe and steady place, and when you’re ready, you go back in for a little more. You erase the edges and eventually work towards the center, gently unwinding those layers slowly. It takes time. A lot of time. Like 46 years of time.

And I think that’s what I’m doing. In my process of healing, I’m disintegrating layers of numbness and constriction that have covered over my joy, and now it’s starting to shine through. I am healing.

I’m writing all this because while I was in the middle of my funk, it felt like that was just me – just who I was. But now that I am passing through, I see that it was a phase, a stage – not a destination. So if you are feeling that “joyless sense of urgency,” there is hope! Trying new things, allowing yourself to stretch outside of your comfort zone, and getting help from professionals (and maybe you have to try a few different ones to find one who resonates), can kick-start that upward spiral.

In that vein, I am offering a free 60-minute Zoom workshop on 8/23 at 5PM Central Time entitled “Simple Tools to Change Your Life.” We’ll play with a few practices that can have a big impact on how you feel in your body and mind, such a meditation, breathwork, and posture. And more importantly, we’ll try to close that gap between “knowing” and “doing” by doing a brief overview of habit change science – so you will be able to take away one small action step that can help bring more health, joy, and presence back into your life.

I am teaching a version of this presentation to a live audience of about 100 people in October, so, if you do attend the presentation I would be extremely grateful if you would provide feedback in the form of a 5 question survey, which I will send out to all attendees after the presentation. Please help me NAIL this presentation in October!

Here is the link to register for the workshop. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out! And if you register, THANK YOU so much!!

I hope you have a fabulous Sunday!

Space to be Human Lab
CranioSacral therapy provides a gentle touch that can feel like a balm to a burned-out nervous system. Get some relief from that monkey mind! You can book a CranioSacral session here (use code “CRANIO” for $20 off through 8/31/23).

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Awakening, Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Trauma

A New Deal

July 10, 2023 heather

What’s one of the best and most important ways of becoming a better helper/healer? Getting help and healing for yourself.

This message is permeating the ether lately. I just finished a book that blew my mind – The Heart of Listening – A Visionary Approach to Craniosacral Work by Hugh Milne. For so many reasons, it really spoke to a deep part of me, probably because the book is all about speaking to the deep parts of us! I could write a book on this book, but for now I will constrain myself to one of its main pieces of advice – if you want to become skilled in the healing arts, you absolutely must partake of the healing arts yourself. You must get treatment, get therapy, do the work to understand your shadow self, dig into those recesses where you have stuffed the parts of yourself that you just couldn’t deal with at the time.

I took this advice to heart, which was an easy thing to do as I have been feeling a bit “meh,” pointless, and disembodied lately. I felt the need for some existential guidance and for someone to just take care of me and focus on me for an hour or two, so I booked a session with Marisa at https://www.yellowleafmedicine.com/.

It was a one-of-kind- experience. I have a really hard time expressing emotions, which is troublesome, as expressing my emotions is what all my coaches and therapists have told me I need to do in order to become who I want to become. In this session with Marisa, I was in a space where my body felt safe enough to let its guard down and FEEL some stuff – to feel deep grief that I didn’t even know I was carrying, to feel fresh, deep breaths coming into my body, to feel sludgy, sticky, goopy energy leaving my body with strong exhalations. It was a very visceral experience, and I tried hard to stay in my body and really be present, instead of retreating up to my head and watching it – intellectualizing the experience. That was hard, but so worth it. The session helped me remember the pleasure of the smell of roses and smoky herbs, the cool sensation of mist on my bare skin, the sound and vibration of a strong human voice in my ribcage, the felt sense of connection with Self and Spirit.

And now the session is over. What next?

Do I choose to say, “Wow. That was cool. Glad I did that!” and just move on with life as usual – thinking the same things, stuffing down the same feelings, taking the same actions? That would be easy to do. And I have done that many, many times. I have spent hundreds of dollars on experiences, coaching, and therapy that I didn’t allow to transform me.

But this time, I am focused on integration – on using this as an opportunity to recreate myself by making different choices. Each decision is a fork in the road, and I am working on consciously choosing.

We all struggle with being human, with figuring out life, with figuring out what we want, who we are, why we are here. We are all in this together, figuring it out together, helping each other when we need it. When you feel “meh” and want to rekindle your spark, please remember that help is out there – help from people who have been in your shoes, and who are currently walking around in those shoes! I have a list of shiny people, living here in the trenches with you, who can help you, and I am always here for you as well.

Today I made a new choice. I choose to be forthcoming about explorations into a therapy that my religious upbringing would have frowned upon. But I am choosing to align my words with where my heart is right now. We’ll see where this goes!

I hope that today you have the opportunity to choose the real, authentic, messy You.

Space to be Human Lab

CranioSacral Therapy: Sometimes we don’t need to be fixed, we just need someone to listen to us while we fix ourselves. Craniosacral therapy provides that kind of deep listening. If you would like support to let your body be heard, please book a craniosacral session here. Use code “CRANIO” for $20 off. I recommend book a 90-minute session for craniosacral work. It takes time to slow down. 🙂

Coaching: CranioSacral is based on the foundation that we have an“inner physician” who knows what we need to heal. Likewise, health and wellness coaching is based on a similar truth – you are the expert on your own life, and you probably even know what you need to do to reach your wellbeing goals. However, you need a partner to walk the path with you and help you identify your strengths, motivations, and supports. You need someone who believes in your ability to change, while you work on building up evidence for yourself. If you are interested in how health coaching could help you reach your potential, please book a consultation here. I am now a Master Certified Coach with the Dr. Sears Wellness Institute!

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Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Mindset, Pain

Existential Crisis and Notes from Your Back

May 21, 2023 heather

Well, hello there! It’s been a few weeks since I’ve checked in. I’ve been occupied with finishing up my health coach certification, traveling, and having an existential crisis about buying a new car.

I’ll start with the last one first.

We bought a new car. We were planning on getting a used car, but when we started doing research on the used-car market and interest rates, we soon determined that for about $5,000 more we could have a brand-new car with a full warranty and no sordid mysterious past. So we chose that option. That option, however, pushed me out of my very conservative financial comfort zone. I was intellectually confident that we could afford a new car, but my visceral response to the purchase said otherwise. I was ANXIOUS and racked with self-doubt. Did we do the right thing? Should we have negotiated better? I’m almost 50 years old, why can’t I be more articulate and forceful with my needs and expectations? What happens if one of us loses our job? Will people think I’m getting too big for my britches by getting a new car? Would Mr. Money Mustache be ashamed of me? Why didn’t we do this better/righter/more perfectly??

In the middle of this whole car-buying saga, I did a session with one of my most favoritest doctors. She is a chiropractor who does functional medicine and muscle testing/energy work where she communicates with my body on a subconscious level. I don’t understand it; all I know is that her treatments always make me feel SO much better. I was working with her on hormone/digestive issues and happened to mention that I am still struggling with low back pain as well. She said, “Huh,” and then did her magic and asked my body why my back was hurting. And here was the answer, “You need to believe in yourself and what you are doing.”

LIGHT BULB MOMENT – I DON’T HAVE MY OWN BACK!! I don’t support my own decisions. I constantly doubt myself and the steps that I take. No wonder my back hurts. It’s like, “Hey – Heather. USE ME!! RELY on me. Notice and appreciate me!!”

What is the point of questioning a decision that is already made? The papers are signed. The car is ours. I can choose to keep questioning the decision and being anxious about it.

OR

I can choose to be excited about the opportunities for travel this car opens up. I can be proud of us for choosing a car that has excellent reliability and that could easily be with us until we are 70-YEARS-OLD. I can be proud of myself for making sh!t happen and finding a great, beautiful vehicle for us just in time for us to take our Surlys to South Dakota for an epic ride through the Black Hills. I can choose to be the friend to myself that I need – the friend who is like, “You are so smart, Heather! You are wise and logical. You made a great decision for your family. You are going to make so many good memories in this sweet, handsome Rav4. You are fearless to commit to a purchase that is aligned with your life goals, even though it’s scary and uncomfortable. You are bold!”

In others words, I can choose to have my own back. Low back pain is very mysterious. I heard from one of my teachers that there are over 200 known causes of low back pain, and research has proven that our thoughts and feelings can dramatically impact chronic low back pain. If this concepts resonates with you, here are some questions you could contemplate: How could you shift your narrative about yourself and your choices in a way that enables you to support YOU? How can you choose to believe in yourself and your capabilities? How can you have your own back more fully?

And now I’ll circle back to the first two things on my list. I’m in the last section of my Health Coaching Certification, and hopefully by the end of July I will be a Master Certified Health & Wellness Coach. And what does that mean?? Here is an excellent description from the National Board of Health & Wellness Coaching:

Health & wellness coaches partner with clients looking to enhance their well-being through self-directed lasting changes, aligned with their values. In the course of their work, health & wellness coaches display unconditional positive regard for their clients and a belief in their ability to change, honoring the fact that each client is an expert on their own life while ensuring that all interactions are respectful and non-judgmental.

Isn’t that a beautiful approach to change? Essentially I will get to partner with clients – I will have their backs, and I will help them have their own backs as well! I’m planning on rolling out a 3-month program within the next couple of months. If you would like to improve your wellbeing with a compassionate coach who is in the trenches with you, let me know. I’ll add you to my mailing list and send out more details when my program is finalized. 😊

And lastly, travel. I was able to spend the first weekend in May with my brothers, my sister-in-law, and my mesmerizing niece, Keke. And soon Tim and I are heading out to South Dakota for a week. We’re taking the Heuheunito with us, so please wish us luck. His favorite thing to do is to plop down on his belly in cool grass, meld with the Earth, and people-watch. So getting him UP and HIKING can be a challenge. Good thing he is so cute.

Happy Sunday My Friends, and thank you for reading!!

Space to be Human Lab – Helping you heal so you can feel more alive

Do you crave deep relaxation? Would you appreciate help in dissipating excess energy from your frayed nervous system? If so, I invite you to book a CranioSacral session. If you are a returning client, and you are curious about CranioSacral, you can book a 30 minute FREE session here – just use code “CURIOUS” at checkout. You can book other session types here.

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Coaching, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Mindset

The “What If??” Game

April 4, 2023 heather

Honestly, I’m struggling a bit with what to write today. So part of me was like, well, let’s just skip the post for today. And then another part of me was like, Heather, you enjoy writing these, and people have told me they enjoy reading them, so just go ahead and do it! And then another part of me was like, always doing the easy things does not a happy life make. So I talked myself into writing. (Side note: A client recently told me that her therapist said that not everyone has a constant stream of conversation going on their heads. I was blown away. This never-ending chatter and decision (or indecision) by internal committee isn’t a main feature in everyone’s brainpan??)

Anyway, I digress.

On to the subject of today’s email: I’ve been working through the 4 Core Questions of Appreciative Coaching:

What gives life to you right now?
Describe a high point or peak experience in your life or work up until now.
What do you most value about yourself, your relationships, and the nature of your work?
What 1 or 2 things do you want more of in your life?

Writing out the answers to these questions was very eye-opening. The first question led me down the What If path. I was writing about how I absolutely LOVE my coaching class. I love the philosophy and intent behind the methodologies they teach. At the core of coaching is the belief that the client is the expert on herself, and my job as a coach is to support and partner with her to essentially help her realize how awesome and powerful she is.

But DAMN. Coaching is HARD. It involves asking a lot of questions, drawing out the client’s motivations and values, being FULLY PRESENT and listening with your whole being, holding your tongue when you really just want to TELL them what to do (and you sense the client WANTS to be told what to do). A coach needs to artfully help the client extract the answers for herself, while providing information in little tidbits, and then only after getting the client’s permission to do so (because the Client is in the driver’s seat).

So, coaching is hard. And I know I’m not great at it yet. And I know that the only way to get great at it is to practice. But I hate doing something I’m not great at yet. And then I’m caught in an infinite loop.

So I started playing the What If game:

What if I am this client’s best option to reach her goals?
What if it is up to ME (just like it was up to Bastian in The Never Ending Story) to do what needs to be done, no matter how unimportant or unqualified or inexperienced I think I am (or FEEL I am)?
What if I need to feel inadequate and do it anyway?
What if I saw my feelings and actually felt them instead of THINKING about them?

This led to the I Choose game:

I choose strength
I choose clarity
I choose action
I choose energy
I choose joy
I choose challenge
I choose to live
I choose to find out what I’m made of
I choose long term success over short term pleasure

So much of what we think and do is a choice – whether we choose to see it that way or not is another story!

I choose to share that with you because our human nature is to focus on our faults instead of our strengths, and I know many of us struggle with confidence and the imposter syndrome and the belief that we are not good enough or smart enough to live as big as we would like to, or to take risks in the service of a dream. But what if we choose to notice those thoughts and to really sense those feelings and then we decide to keep moving towards that goal anyway? What if? What do you Choose?

“Conscious living means becoming aware of all the choices we have and acting on them.” (Michael Arlowski, PHd)

Space to be Human Lab – Helping you heal so you can get back to doing what you love

If you like the idea of getting some space from your thoughts and deep relief and support for your frayed nervous system, I invite you to book a CranioSacral session. April is CraniosSacral Therapy Awareness Month, so I am offering 75 minute sessions for $80 (a discount of $20). Book a 75 minute session and use code “CRANIO.” If you are a new client, you can book here.

Quad City Health & Wellness Professionals Mixer
If you are a health and wellness professional, and you would like to connect with other like-minded, supportive souls, please join us at the monthly QCHWP Mixer, held the 4^th Monday of every month at Crawford Brewery from 5-7. You can find more info here, and you can register here.

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Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Yoga

QCHWP Is Back, Baby!!

April 4, 2023 heather

Hello My Fellow Professionals in the Healing Arts,

Crawford Brewery has graciously agreed to let us use their Mezzanine space for a monthly Quad Cities Health & Wellness Professionals Mixer!

We will meet from 5PM-7PM the 4th Monday of every month through October (4/24, 5/22, 6/26, 7/24, 8/28, 9/25, 10/23).
You can sign up for whichever mixers you would like to attend by using this link. The fee for each mixer is $10.
Here is a high-level agenda for the meeting: Each person will do a brief 1-3 minute introduction, a courageous volunteer will do a ~15 minute presentation (on their practice, some juicy health & wellness topic, or some amazing business-building tips, etc.), we’ll open the floor to questions, and then spend the rest of the session mixing. 🙂
Crawford has Trivia Night on Monday nights starting at 7, so we will disband by then, but you are welcome to pop downstairs to join the fun.
I will have some light snacks available.
If you’ve already filled out the Info Share form, you don’t need to do it again; however, if you want to update any info, you should be able to do that. Here is the link.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHARE THIS MIXER WITH ANYONE ELSE YOU THINK WOULD BE INTERESTED! I will quit yelling at you now. I am just excited about meeting and connecting with others in this sacred space that is SO needed in the world right now!!

If you have any questions, comments, feedback, suggestions for making these events more awesome (or if you’re interested in doing a presentation during one of our sessions), please reach out to me at heather@spacetobehuman.life.

Take care, My Friends!!

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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Mindset, Pain, Trauma

The Magick of the Mind

January 22, 2023 heather

“If you treat an individual as he is, he will stay as he is, but if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

What role do you think thoughts play in how your day, week, year, life turn out? Are thoughts just nebulous, harmless wisps that float across your brain pan? Do they have power in and of themselves?

How about intention? Does the intention with which you do something affect the outcome of that action? Let’s say it’s a snowy morning and you notice your elderly neighbor’s walk isn’t shoveled. If you shovel his walk with the intention of wanting to help out a neighbor vs. doing it with the intention of meeting a social obligation that you resent, does it still have the same effect? Can your neighbor, on a subconscious level, sense the difference in intention and perhaps feel gratitude in one case and shame in another, even though no words were spoken?

Likewise, do our thoughts, beliefs, and intentions affect the responses we get from others? If we believe a person we are interacting with is oafish or narrow-minded, does the person respond to the energy of that belief and respond with oafishness or narrow-mindedness? What comes first, the chicken or the egg?

“Scientific experiments have repeatedly shown that thoughts can directly influence the rate of growth in plants, fungi, and bacteria. William Tiller, a physicist at Stanford University, has shown that thoughts can affect electronic instruments.” The Emotion Code.

The importance of intention has been top of mind lately. In my coaching class, we are taught that we need to have “unconditional positive regard” for our client – complete acceptance and support of the client, no matter what she says or does. This is a fundamental pre-requisite of providing “safe space” for people, so that they feel secure in opening up to possibilities and potential.

Intention is also a fundamental part of a bodywork session. Sometimes I will invite my clients to set an intention for the session (if you don’t know where you’re going, how will you get there?!), and I too take a moment to set an intention for the session. Usually my intention is to LISTEN in all the ways I can and to trust my hands. Intention also comes into play with the hands-on work. It may not be possible to actually massage the psoas, which lies deep, deep, deep in the body, alongside the spine, but if, with my mind, I can visualize the layers of the abdomen, see my hands sinking slowly down through the skin, the layers of muscle, the greater omentum, the small intestine, and then see the psoas resting along the back, then perhaps I can influence the psoas with my intention. CranioSacral work is very much about intention. It’s very gentle work, but it can be very impactful through the use of intention, meaning it can cause less trauma to the body in the course of a treatment. As Jill Miller (creator of the Yoga Tune Up® balls) says, “It doesn’t have to hurt to work!”

I am working on being very intentional with my intention. My intention is to bring more fun and enjoyment into daily life instead of having the intention of getting done with a task as quickly as possible so that I can rush on to the next item on my to-do list. Having an intention of curiosity and exploration sounds like a lot more fun than having an intention of speed and productivity. I’m a human being, after all, not a computer!

What intention do you bring to your work, to your life, to your mindset? What beliefs do you have about others that might be affecting your interactions with them? What could shift in your life if you brought an intention of unconditional positive regard into your interactions with others?

Space to be Human Lab
Feel Better and Pay Less
If you are experiencing headaches, neck or back pain, stress and tension-related disorders, TMJ syndrome, or general body pain, CranioSacral Therapy (a gentle full-body treatment that can improve the health of the nervous system) could help you! I am offering unlimited sessions at a $15 discount for the next few months. Please use code “CRANIO” when you book a 90 minute session or a New Client session to receive the discount.

QCHWP Mixer
Are you a health and wellness practitioner in the Quad Cities? Join us on February 6^th to meet and connect with other like-minded professionals and discover how a rising tide raises all boats. More details can be found here.

The Itsy Bitsy (A catalytic question)
What do you value most about yourself, your relationships, and the nature of your work?

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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Meditation, Mindset, Pain, Trauma, Yoga

The Red Thread

January 15, 2023 heather

The Red ThreadDo you believe that your future is pre-determined? Do you believe in dharma – the thought that you were put here for a reason and you have a specific purpose to fill? Do you believe in free-will? Do you believe in both fate and free-will at the same time?

I believe that we have a purpose and path laid out before us, and I believe that we have the freewill to make choices along that path. And I believe that no matter what choice we make, we are on that path.

Why do I think that?

Because it I find it reassuring that no matter what I do, I am on the right path. And because I’m human, I don’t want to be told what to do. I don’t want to have my freedom to choose taken away from my. I want to be free.

So I choose to believe in the conundrum of having a designated purpose and in the freedom to choose my path.

I will turn 46 next month. For all intents and purposes, I am 50 years old. And that is super duper bonkers to me. I asked Tim last night how old he feels, and he said 35. I said I feel about 14. I still feel in many ways like a noob in this world – still figuring things out, still figuring out who I am, what I want, still finding my confidence and roots.

But little by little, every step I take clarifies me to myself. This has become more evident over the past 10 years, and it has escalated over the past 6 months or so. A through-line is crystallizing.

#1 – I took a Cranial Sacral class from Wahneta Dimmer in Cedar Rapids, IA. The class involved laying my hands on different parts of my client’s bodies and just NOTICING what I noticed. As I slowed down and focused on my hands and listened to the body, I started to observe so much LIFE under my hands. I felt pulses, rhythms, flows, heat, vibrations, a sense of connection to something wise and fun. These were all sensations I totally missed when diving deep and with force into the body. By changing my intention to one of listening instead of doing, the body’s life energies felt safe enough to come out and say “Hi! Thanks for noticing us! How can I help you?”

#2 – I started the Dr. Sears Wellness Institute’s Master Health Coach Certification class. I wasn’t sure what to expect. The class was one of the least expensive I found ($2,300 instead of $8,000 – $21,000), but I was familiar with Dr. Sears’ classes, so I figured it would be worth exploring. It has blown me away by how thorough and organized it is. We are learning 3 types of coaching techniques – Motivational Interviewing, Appreciative Coaching, and Non-Violent Communication. Guess what all 3 styles have in common? This is their premise:

The client is a mystery to be appreciated, not a problem to be solved. People are the undisputed experts on themselves. Coaching is first and foremost about LISTENING and providing space to the client so they can process. People believe what they hear themselves say. People don’t want to be told what to do.

Again, the through-line of being a compassionate, open witness who provides clients with space to trust their own inner wisdom is showing up.

#3 – I am beginning Year 2 of the Somatic Experiencing trauma-resolution training. Somatic Experiencing is all about providing a safe space and time to enable clients to notice their inner world and see and process what the body wants to show them. It’s a form of somatic (body-oriented) deep, compassionate, curious listening.

#4 – I just finished the Upledger CranioSacral Therapy (CST) Level 1 class last week. This is a type of gentle touch therapy that uses the power of intention and a listening presence to help unwind restrictions in the body, thereby reducing pain and enhancing well-being. CST respects the wisdom of the body (referred to as our “Inner Physician). AGAIN, the theme of deep listening, with a belief in the body’s wisdom, is apparent.

My purpose, my path, my work here in this life is to be, in my own small way, a facilitator of reconnection to wholeness. I am here to offer people the space and opportunity to slow down and reconnect to their inner wisdom and innate healing ability – to appreciate the magic and mystery of being a human being. I am here to help people (including myself) find space to be human.

What is your through-line? What theme keeps popping up in disparate areas of your life? What idea keeps coming for you, no matter where you go, what you do?

Space to be Human Lab
If you are experiencing headaches, migraines, chronic neck and back pain, stress and tension-related disorders, TMJ syndrome, or general body pain, and you appreciate (or are curious about!) a gentle touch, CranioSacral Therapy could help.

I need to perform 75 CST sessions before I take CranioSacral Level 2 in August, so I am offering sessions at a $15 discount for the next few months. Please use code “CRANIO” when you book a 90 minute session or a New Client session to receive the discount.

The Itsy Bitsy
Sustainable behavior change starts with making small changes consistently. A change can be engendered by something so small and isty bity as a question. In the spirit of Appreciative Coaching, I’m going to start offering a question to you weekly that might spark something – some awareness, some motivation, some curiosity. Here’s this week’s question: Who are you when you are at your best?

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Awakening, Habit Change, Health & Fitness, Massage Therapy, Mindset

The Rabbit Manifesto

January 1, 2023 heather

So. It’s 1-1. That time of year where we usually set goals and figure out what we want the next year to bring. What I’ve learned from my health coaching class and from personal experience is that goals are meant to be unreached. Well, not really. But goals often have a way of setting us up for failure. Or maybe more accurately put, we have a tendency to set goals in such a way that we set OURSELVES up for failure. We are too restrictive, we take on too much change too quickly, we set goals based on “shoulds.”

How can we improve our chances of effecting the changes that we want in our lives?

How about instead of setting a BHAG (big hairy audacious goal), we set a topic?

Yes

A Topic

A topic that we would like to focus on for the upcoming year.

How does that feel? As you look forward into 2023, think about a goal you might set. Maybe your goal is to save $2000, or to lose 20 pounds, or to travel to a place you’ve never been once/month. Envision yourself taking the steps required to get there. How do your insides respond to the prospect of executing on those steps?

Now, think about a topic for 2023. Maybe your topic is Learning, or maybe it’s Self-Discovery, or maybe it’s Connection. Think about what you would do, how you would live, what choices you would make in service to that topic. How does that feel in your body?

I’m not saying that having goals is wrong, or that having a topic or a theme is better than having goals. I’m just saying it’s different. And sometimes trying something different can make all the difference! Our brains and bodies thrive on novelty. We are tremendously adaptable, so we have to keep switching things up in order to keep our minds and bodies awake and alive. If the idea of determining a 2023 topic gave you a little burst of curiosity/interest/expansion, you could check out One Word That Will Change Your Life. I also have a worksheet you can use to identify your values, and that would be a good starting place. Shoot me an email if you want a copy of it.

My topic for 2023 is:

Listen

I want to become a better listener in 2023. I want to listen to my Self better. I want to listen to my body. I want to listen with my whole being (my eyes, my ears, my intuition, my nervous system, my hands) to my loved ones and clients. I want to listen when someone talks to me and decipher the feeling and need that’s being expressed underneath what they are saying. I want to listen with curiosity and without judgement, comparison, or jealousy. I want to listen to the silence. I want to listen to the rhythms. I want to listen more and speak less. I want to listen when the Universe speaks. I want to listen and see what I can learn, letting go of the compulsive need to prove my worth and value. I want to listen and see what healing naturally comes as a byproduct of finally being truly heard. I want to chill the f@Ck out and just listen.

I did our annual Animal Spirit “Year Ahead Spread” which involves drawing a card for each month of the year and then a final card with the overall “theme” for the year. For January, I drew The Dragon, which is pretty awesome. For my overall theme, I drew The Rabbit. Which seemed slightly less cool. But I read the text, and I have to say, the Universe sent me the message I needed to hear.

What’s on tap for you in 2023? If you care to share your topic for 2023, I would love to hear it. The first person to send me their topic (in 1 word) will get a little custom-stamped metal token as a daily reminder. 😊

And with that, let me wish you HAPPY NEW YEAR! Thank you for joining me on this journey of figuring out what it means to be human and how we can best take advantage of that gift. I’ll leave you with this quote from “Craniosacral Therapy” by Upledger & Vredevoogd:

“Remember that the potential of humankind is limited only by its own concept of that limitation.”

Space to be Human Lab

If you are experiencing pain in your mind-body and would like help finding more space, ease, and room for more positive possibilities, you can book a bodywork session here.
If you are a health & wellness professional in the Quad Cities, and you would like to meet other local health professionals, let me know. I’m organizing a mixer for those of us interested in making new connections for the benefits of our clients and ourselves. It will likely be in late January; more details will be forthcoming.

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